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Writing Samples
Band 7

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#school #age #eighteen
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The notion that everyone should stay in
school
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 until the
age
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 of
eighteen
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 has been a topic of debate.
While
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 I partially agree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 the personal development opportunities it offers, I
also
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 acknowledge the potential drawbacks associated with
such
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 a policy. On the one hand, remaining in
school
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 until the
age
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 of
eighteen
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 fosters individual growth and development. By allocating substantial effort and dedication to their studies,
students
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 can explore various academic subjects and engage in critical thinking.
This
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 emphasis not only bolsters their academic progress but
also
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 cultivates resilience as they learn to surmount challenges and obstacles. Pursuing long-term objectives within an educational environment empowers young individuals to venture beyond their comfort zones and expand their perspectives.
Furthermore
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, the
school
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 environment allows
students
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 to discover their interests and refine their talents through extracurricular activities.
This
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 exposure to diverse experiences can encourage self-discovery and aid individuals in making more informed decisions about their future.
On the other hand
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, mandating
school
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 attendance until the
age
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 of
eighteen
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 might restrict opportunities for those who do not flourish in conventional academic settings. It is crucial to recognize that some
students
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 may benefit from pursuing alternative educational avenues,
such
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 as professional training or vocational programs. Departing from
school
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 at a younger
age
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 allows these individuals to follow their personal inclinations and investigate career options aligned with their interests.
This
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 liberty to choose can fortify self-confidence and self-esteem, which may not be attained by rigidly adhering to an academic course. In conclusion,
while
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 staying in
school
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 until the
age
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 of
eighteen
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 promotes personal growth and academic development, it is essential to consider individual preferences and needs.
Students
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 should be encouraged to assess their abilities, interests, and aspirations from a young
age
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 to ascertain the most suitable educational trajectory. By achieving a balance between traditional schooling and alternative options, society can cater to the diverse requirements of its young learners and empower them to realize their full potential.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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task achievement
Try to include specific examples or scenarios to illustrate your points and make your arguments more concrete.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, which will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively presenting your point of view.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion, considering both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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