Some people think that in order to be successful in business one has to study at university, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Whereas
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some people assume that a university education is not an obligation to build a shiny
business
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career, others believe that a major degree increases the chance of success.
However
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, it is inevitable to mention that individuals with high-level education possess a favour in a
business
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environment.
This
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essay explains
this
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view in detail. First of all, there are many examples of success stories which include great achievements without holding a license degree, as some kick-start studies in their areas of interest from an early age. These are the self-educated types, because they experience lots of real-life cases within common practices.
For instance
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, many individuals are able to learn coding or programming without spending time in the faculty through online teaching platforms and training programs, with a self-defined pace and control over studying.
Hence
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, they work on a variety of assignments and problems, and prepare themselves for possible enterprise opportunities, since they can already analyse and practice daily tasks even before they turn 18.
On the other hand
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, students attend universities not only to gain technical competence in their subjects, but
also
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to acquire some
skills
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,
such
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as discipline, how to approach complexity, how to research effectively, and dedication to a purpose. These
skills
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are the elements that today's
business
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success in
business
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demands.
For example
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, employees with an academic background are significantly capable of task completion on time, attention to detail, finding root causes and possible ways out of their cases, and handing over the deliverables without giving up until the end.
Thus
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, they seem to have advantages in their companies to get promoted and
also
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earn higher salaries
as a consequence
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of their accomplishments, which result from owning more versatility than non-graduates. To summarise,
although
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it is possible to become a winner in
business
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without a bachelor's or master's diploma, universities teach other crucial
skills
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which are required to be deemed successful. Teenagers should be aware of these
skills
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, and so try to select and attempt one major subject, to expand their horizons for a considerable adaptation to their
business
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lives and comprehension of what a rewarding
business
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life needs.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. Your view is clear, but the first side is shorter and less full.
task response
Give a more direct opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the conclusion.
task response
Use more specific business examples, not only coding, to fit the topic better.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea very clear at the start of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not smooth. Use simple linking words like first, however, for example, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are too long and hard to follow. Split them into shorter sentences.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • business
  • university degree
  • study
  • knowledge
  • skills
  • experience
  • practical experience
  • finance
  • marketing
  • management
  • business law
  • problem solving
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • decision making
  • network
  • contacts
  • job opportunity
  • business partner
  • investor
  • start a company
  • family business
  • learn by doing
  • risk
  • customer needs
  • cash flow
  • market change
  • hard work
  • clear goals
  • creative thinking
  • discipline
  • learn from mistakes
  • strong base
  • real world
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