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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts illustrate four types of exported citrus fruits in the top three countries in 2012.Units are given in thousand tonnes.

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The bar charts illustrate four types of exported citrus fruits in the top three countries in 2012.Units are given in thousand
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, oranges were the most popular exported fruit in South Africa ,
while
Linking Words
lemons
Use synonyms
 and other citrus fruits had the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 in
Mexico
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Turkey had the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 for grapefruit exports. In detail, South Africa exported the largest amount of oranges at 1000
tonnes
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 Egypt exported around 500
tonnes
Use synonyms
.The
figurer
Correct your spelling
figure
 for
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
export
Use synonyms
 of oranges was slightly lower than
Egypt
Correct pronoun usage
that of Egypt
show examples
approximately
Punctuation problem
, approximately
show examples
 400
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for exported grapefruits, Turkey recorded the highest
export
Use synonyms
 .
Mexico
Use synonyms
 ranked second with approximately 300
tonnes
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the US had the lowest
figure
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 compared to
Mexico
Use synonyms
 at about 200
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Turning to
lemons
Use synonyms
 ,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 exported the highest amount of
lemons
Use synonyms
 at around 450
tonnes
Use synonyms
 compared to other countries.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
export
Use synonyms
 of lemon ranges second with approximately 200
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 ,
while
Linking Words
 Argentina exported the lowest amount of
lemons
Use synonyms
, at just over 100
tonnes
Use synonyms
 .
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 recorded the largest
the highest
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
export
Use synonyms
 of other
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of citrus fruits.
In contrast
Linking Words
 , both Egypt and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 US demonstrated relatively low figures, at around 20 and 30
tonnes
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, lemons, figure, mexico, export with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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