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Writing Samples
Band 3

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discus both views and give your opinion.

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It is
widespread
Correct article usage
a widespread
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 belief that
,
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apply
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Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 has both benefits and drawbacks.In
this
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essay
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essay,
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Linking Words
firstly
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firstly,
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 I will examine the advantages of
the
Change the spelling
globalisation
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globalization
Use synonyms
 before discussing
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. One obvious upside to
this
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 tendency
,
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apply
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globalization
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 boosts the economy. What I mean by
this
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 is that
,
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apply
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Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 encourages international trade and investment, creating more job opportunities and increasing economic growth.It increases the unemployment rate of countries.
Therefore
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, countries can improve their economies and reduce unemployment.Another possible advantage , people have access
technology
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to technology
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 and knowledge. To illustrate, countries can easily share new technologies, scientific discoveries , and educational resources.It improves people’s quality of life and
provide
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provides
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 accessibility.
Consequently
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, technological progress spreads more quickly around the world. Turning to the disadvantages,
this
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 situation leads to
loss
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the loss
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 of traditional culture.Simply put, as global brands and foreign culture become more popular, local customs , languages , and traditions may gradually disappear.
This
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 may damage
country’s
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the country’s
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 cultural heritage and have
a
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an
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 impact on future
generation
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generations
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.
Thus
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, cultural diversity may decline over time. Another disadvantage is that
,
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apply
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this
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 situation may cause
to
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apply
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environmental problems.
In other words
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, the increases international trade and transportation leads to higher carbon emissions and more pollution.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 can result in climate change and environmental degradation. In conclusion,
however
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globalization
Use synonyms
 has advantages for increasing economic growth and technology, there are
also
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 drawbacks to cultural heritage and environmental problems.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You wrote about good and bad sides, but your own view is not clear enough.
task response
Add a clear opinion in the intro or end, such as whether the good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Use more clear support for each main idea. Some points are general and need one more simple example or result.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence links well to the next one. A few lines feel repeated or not fully smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check word use in linking phrases. Some start well, but the full sentence after them is not always clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and an end.
task response
You discuss both the good side and the bad side of globalization.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'therefore', 'to illustrate', and 'as a result'.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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