Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some people believe that
children
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should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society,
while
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others believe that sending
children
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to
educational
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apply
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school
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is the best way for them to study
this
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.
Although
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the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating
children
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to be good parts of the community.
School
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can be considered a suitable place for
children
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to learn to be good citizens. With standardised educational methods, schools can foster
children
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’s cognitive development so that they are able to contribute to society in the future.
For example
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, Trung Vuong
school
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and Vin
school
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are well known for having nurtured successful alumni
such
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as Professor Ngo Bao, who has devoted his talents to the development of the country.
However
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, these people only represent a small fraction of the total number of students attending
school
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, and
thus
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sending
children
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to schools cannot be the best method of educating them to be good members of society. I believe that parents play a more important role in teaching their
children
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how to be good citizens.
For instance
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, in Vietnam, the average class size is 20 students, which makes it difficult for educators to provide proper schooling for each student.
Furthermore
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, one to one lesson at home,
on the other hand
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, allow
children
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to progress faster. In conclusion,
although
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sending
children
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to schools can be seen as a way of teaching them how to be good citizens, I think that domestic upbringing has a bigger impact on determining who they are in the future.

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task response
Score: 5. Your answer covers both views, but the school view is not fully explained. Say more about what schools teach, such as rules, teamwork, respect, and helping others.
task response
Your main view is clear, but the parent paragraph does not fully show how parents teach children to be good in society. Add ideas such as parents showing good behavior, teaching kindness, and setting rules at home.
task response
Some examples do not fit the point well. School success and future work do not always show that a person is a good member of society. Use examples about sharing, following rules, or helping people.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. The order is clear, but some ideas do not connect well. The first school paragraph ends by saying schools are not the best method. This is your own view, so it would work better in the parent paragraph or the ending.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, why it is true, example, and short result.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence in the parent paragraph is not linked well to the point about class size. Explain why parents can give more time and care than teachers.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links, but do not repeat “For example” too much. You can also use “Also”, “As a result”, and “This means that”.
task response
You discuss both parents and school, and you give your own view clearly.
task response
Your examples are linked to the main topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Although”, “For example”, and “Furthermore” help show links between ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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