IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some governments spend a lot of money on exploring space. Some feel that this investment is justified while others think that money should be spent on public services like health care and education. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Nowadays,
space
Use synonyms
 exploration being important issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communities. Especially, after earth heat increases way can not ignore
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on exploring
space
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some feel that
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on public services.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 giving my opinion. On the one hand, goverments who stand with spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
Use synonyms
 exploration have a resnabule reasons. As the
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
weather become more hotter year after year.
As a result
Linking Words
, all
life
Use synonyms
surcess
Correct your spelling
success
 will be
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 case.
For example
Linking Words
, water
sursess
Correct your spelling
sources
 will dry,
plant
Check wording
plants
show examples
 will die, animals will
desaper
Correct your spelling
disappear
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, they have to discover the main
causess
Correct your spelling
causes
 of
this
Linking Words
 issue to stop it, or they hope to find
life
Use synonyms
 on
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 planet.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who believe that
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on public
servises
Correct your spelling
services
, think that health and education
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the first
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 to solve all matters in
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they never accept the theory about
life
Use synonyms
 on
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 planet. So, they prefer to spend
this
Linking Words
budjet
Correct your spelling
budget
 on
learning
Verb problem
teaching
show examples
 people how to
survaive
Correct your spelling
survive
 with
this
Linking Words
 problem.
In addition
Linking Words
, they believe that improving
cure
Check wording
care
show examples
 and healthcare can lead to fansy
life
Use synonyms
 that everyone
nedd
Correct your spelling
needs
. In
conclosion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public
servises
Correct your spelling
services
 is important. In my opinion,
space
Use synonyms
 exploration is one of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 important
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 that we should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on. Relative to
lates circumstancec
Correct your spelling
late circumstances
 that hapening in our planet.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Overall score: 5. Your answer covers all parts of the question, but the ideas need more clear support.
task response
Explain why space work is worth the cost. For example, it can help us know more about the weather, find new tools, and protect the Earth.
task response
Your point about finding life on another planet is not fully clear. Say why this would help people now or in the future.
task response
Give a more real example for public services. For example, money for hospitals can help sick people, and money for schools can help children get better jobs.
task response
Make your own view stronger. You say space work is important, but you should say if it is more important than health and education, or if money should be shared between them.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. In the first body part, talk only about space. In the second, talk only about health and education.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect well. For example, “As the way weather become more hotter...” is hard to follow. Use short, clear sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they show a clear link. “Therefore” and “For this reason” should come after a clear cause.
coherence and cohesion
Your end repeats your view, which is good. Make it clearer: “I think governments should spend money on both, but health and education should come first.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not start many sentences with “So”, “Moreover”, or “In addition”. Use simple links, but make sure each new sentence adds a new point.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view in the end.
task response
Your main ideas are linked to the topic: space work, health, and education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “In addition”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: