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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

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In today's fast-paced world, there is an ongoing debate when it comes to the education
system
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.
While
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 a significant number of people believe that the traditional educational
system
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 will be transformed and that there is no longer a need for classical classrooms where there are
teachers
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 and
students
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, I strongly agree that the
classroom
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 remains an integral part of our lives because the educational
system
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 requires a space where
learners
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 can interact with
teachers
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 to learn a subject. First of all,
teachers
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 play a crucial role in children's development.
This
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 is because they can track their performance in class and give them more valuable feedback than other types of systems.
This
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 evaluation is made possible by communicating directly with
learners
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 and sharing thoughts freely without using any extra tools.
As a result
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, youngsters can improve their abilities and broaden their knowledge with the help of these direct interactions.
For instance
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, some successful scientists always mention their
teachers
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 who noticed their abilities by interacting with them in the
classroom
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, where
students
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 could reach them easily without any hesitation.
Therefore
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,
this
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 safe environment provides
learners
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 with an opportunity to communicate with professionals, encouraging them to be successful and overcome struggles.
Secondly
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, joining classes in a
classroom
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help
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helps
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learners
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 to easily comprehend complex topics with the help of
classroom
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 participants. The reason is that
students
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 can ask questions not only
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teachers
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to teachers
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 but
also
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their
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to their
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friends
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 in the
classroom
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 about the topic which they don't understand
not
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apply
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. Since their classmates already know each
other capacity
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other's capacities
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 and
strength
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strengths
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, they can teach them hard topics with the help of their friendship bonds. To illustrate,
students
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 who are not good at math can
inquire
Verb problem
ask
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 questions
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friends
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to friends
show examples
 who are good at
after
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math after
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 the class, enabling them to
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
 solutions, and they feel very comfortable
due to
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 realtionship's safe zone.
Thus
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, there is a positive effect on taking classes with
friends
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, leading to good results. In conclusion,
although
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 an enormous number of people believe that
traditional
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the traditional
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classroom
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system
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 will be replaced in the future, I firmly maintain that the
classroom
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 education
provide
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provides
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 many opportunities to
learners
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 because they can take real-value feedback that
improve
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improves
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 their abilities from their
teachers
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 and interact with their
friends
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 by asking questions that they don't understand.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer stays on the topic and gives a clear view. However, the question asks if classrooms will be replaced by 2050. Talk more directly about 2050 and online learning. Explain why new tools may grow but cannot fully take the place of teachers and classmates.
task response
Your first main point is stronger than your second. The example about scientists is too general. Give one clear, real-like example, such as a shy child whose teacher sees a problem and gives help at once.
task response
In body 2, explain why face-to-face group work is better than learning alone online. This will make your answer more full and more closely linked to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order of ideas is easy to follow, but some long sentences are hard to read. Use shorter sentences: one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link inside body 2 clearer. For example: “Also, classrooms help students learn from one another. They can ask a teacher or a classmate for help straight away.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “classroom” and “learners” too often. You can use “school”, “students”, “face-to-face lessons”, and “this setting” when the meaning is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check key grammar because errors can make links less clear. For example, write “joining classes helps”, “ask questions to teachers”, “do not understand”, “perceive”, “relationship”, and “education provides”.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start: you agree that classrooms will still be important in 2050.
task response
You give two main reasons: teachers can give direct help, and students can learn with friends.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First of all”, “Secondly”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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