IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of Manchester city center for 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons were relevant.

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The given graph demonstrates
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three distinct terrains of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal acts in Manchester city centre between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the quantity of car thieves in Manchester showed a sustainable increase,
while
Linking Words
 the robbery size fluctuated and recovered to its original
Linking Words
at
Check wording
level at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
, except for the burglary. Looking at the details, the number of burglars consisted of around 3500 in 2003, before climbing to approximately 3700 in the next year, but
it is observed a significant decline
Correct word order
a significant decline was observed
show examples
 towards the middle of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
, which stood at around 1000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
rosed
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 1500 in 2009,
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated and prior to returning to its initial level
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
. In terms of, roughly 500 people were recorded in 2003 in the burglary.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the ratio for burglary increased
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 1000 in 2005, and declined to 500 in the following years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the figure for car theft constituted 2700 persons in the preliminary stage,
then
Linking Words
 showed a consistent climb towards the end of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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