Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents

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Kids raised by average or middle-income

parents

are better prepared to face adult life

issues

than kids raised by rich tribes. I entirely disagree with

this

statement as both

children

may suffer developmental delays and

also

abandonment by both average and rich

parents

. Even though there is a belief that wealthy families have everything their offspring may

also

experience hardship like anyone. The development of

children

does not depend on how much the

parents

make but rather on how available they are.

Children

may encounter developmental delays in their growth journey and if they do not have anyone to gauge that, it may be too late for the child to be assisted on time.

This

may affect their adult life and how they handle challenging

issues

they come across in building relationships.

For instance

, there is a wealthy couple in America that loves to travel

due to

their work, they recently decided that they will stop their tour to care for their fourth child as he has a speech development problem.

This

illustrates that they are things riches cannot buy.

On the other hand

children

may experience abandonment

issues

parents

are always away at work to provide for their offspring. offspring who experience being left alone may suffer abandonment attachment

issues

and may not be able to regulate when they are in their adult stage. It may make offspring believe that they are less important and

thus

, instil in them the idea that they are not worth it. To cement

this

point, I was given away at a young age and I have always felt that I was not worthy of anybody which has affected how I believe my relationship with people. I do not trust everybody but myself and often, alone throughout my 37 years of life. In conclusion, I entirely disagree with the topic as I have met young people from wealthy families struggling with their self-worth and

also

having developmental setbacks. Even though their household had the resources to assist them.

Submitted by caroloks on Wed Mar 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, aim to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and paragraphs, making your argument more structured and easy to follow.

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Expand on your examples by connecting them more directly to your main argument. Specific, detailed examples can significantly strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing. Additionally, consider exploring both sides of the argument more thoroughly before stating your conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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such as
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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To whatt extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

University students should learn a range of other subjects and not just one subject.

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others think scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. Discuss both views!