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Band 6.5

The crime rates among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Why is this happening and what can be done to reduce it?

#crime #rates #teenagers #countries
The misconduct rate among adolescents has amplified radically in many states. In
this
 essay, I will shed light on the reasons and solutions as to why
this
 is happening. It is a common fact that, in many Latin-populated
countries
, the crime rates among minors have significantly risen
due to
 the excessive number of teen pregnancies and how they have led to bad parenting. The age of consent in Latin American
countries
 is only 14, meaning that a teenager can start a family with an adult at 14! Leading to a considerable number of childbirths by young mothers. When a mother is incapable of raising a child, the child grows up neglected and not capable of receiving love. Which certainly leads them to turn into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 life of crime. The circle of poverty is
also
 a key player in the upbringing of a Latina, turning to
such
 a life. When a parent is poor, it will make the child poor as well, making sure that no one can escape the vicious loop of deprivation.
Thus
, when a combination of teen mothers and a circle of poverty is happening around, it causes the teenager to be angry and infuriated at the world,
consequently
 turning into a criminal. For starters, the one thing we can do to reduce the crime rates in Latino-based
countries
 is to increase the age of consent in Latin American
countries
 by raising it from 14 to at least 18–21.
Next,
it is to consider getting financial aid from the rich people in Columbia, Venezuela, Costa Rica, etc. By getting monetary help, we are increasing the chances of a teenager staying in school, finishing their education, and getting a well-paying job.
Lastly
, it is
also
 important to consider the fact that whoever, whether they are a rich or poor adult, corrupted or not, gets at least 3 years of prison time for grooming a minor. Because every action has its consequences, it is called the butterfly effect. The federal government of the United States of America takes good care of its citizens; why shouldn’t other
countries
 do the same? In conclusion, it is safe to say that Latin
countries
 are currently living in survival mode, and
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
, their lives get harder and harder. Whether it be teenage grooming or a circle of poverty, We should always be kind to other people, because you never know what might happen to you tomorrow.
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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that every paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Additionally, make sure that each sentence within a paragraph logically connects to the others to improve the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Work on elaborating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that each point is well developed and interconnected within the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and a conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, particularly related to Latin American countries, provides a strong basis for your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Parental supervision
  • Peer influence
  • Dysfunctional family
  • Desensitization
  • Substance abuse
  • Educational opportunities
  • Employment prospects
  • Preventive measures
  • Rehabilitation programs
  • Community involvement
  • Policy interventions
  • Mental health support
  • Crime deterrence
  • Media exposure
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