IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You and your family are moving to another country, and you are looking for rented accommodation there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: Introduce yourself and your family Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation

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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Andrey. My family and I plan to visit the countryside in August. We are a family of three, including a child. I am writing
this
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 letter to rent accommodation in your village. During our stay, we would like to rent a country house that has a garden and a barbecue. Since it would be the first time we visit a place where we can enjoy country life, we are
also
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 looking for a house that has an animal farm. We would like to introduce farm animals to our
kid
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kids
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 for
his
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their
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 summer homework.
In addition
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, we would like to try the local foods and beverages in your hometown. Considering these preferences, I kindly request that you check the availability of a country house. I would really appreciate it if you could find a place as described above, and I would like to make a reservation. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Ibrahim

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task response
The letter does not fully answer the task. You say you will visit in August, but the task says you are moving to another country. Say where you will live, when you need the home, how long you need it, and your price range. Give clear ideas about the place: size, rooms, and what you need for your child.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter is easy to follow, but the last paragraph repeats the request. Put your ideas in clear groups: first your family, then the home you need, then the area you want. Use simple links such as “also”, “because”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not fit the main task well, such as trying local food and drinks. Keep the letter about finding a home and its location.
task response
You introduce your family clearly: there are three people and one child. You also give some useful details about the house, such as a garden and a barbecue.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. The greeting and closing are polite and fit a letter to an agent.
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