IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Housing is a basic necessity for everyone. Therefore, governments must provide free housing to those who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 have held the opinion that governments should be mandated to provide free housing for poverty-stricken individuals. I am inclined to agree that housing should be free for the
people
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 who need it most
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it does not necessarily have to be accessible
for
Change preposition
apply
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only
the
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to the
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people
Use synonyms
 with a low
income
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. It is true that
people
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 with a low
income
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 struggle to find affordable housing in today's world. The rising costs of living in many countries have left many
people
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 struggling to have a roof over their head
while
Linking Words
 making sure they have enough to eat and afford basic necessities.
This
Linking Words
 would leave many individuals to believe that the government should intervene and help subsidise the costs that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 with affording a house for certain individuals with a low
income
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 other factors that should be considered beyond a person's wage when deciding
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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 governments should provide affordable housing
too
Use the right word
to
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 with index offences after completing their time in prison will struggle to secure employment
due to
Linking Words
 their criminal history, leaving them with no
income
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 and potentially encouraging them to return to crime to make money. The
income
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 level of a person should not be the deciding factor for who gets free housing when other life stressors can influence a person's ability to find a house for themselves. In conclusion, governments should be involved in ensuring
marginalized
Change the spelling
marginalised
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people
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being
Wrong verb form
are
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 given a chance to own a house without paying a massive upfront cost to do so.

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task response
Score: 6. Your main view is clear, but it does not fully answer “to what extent”. Say more clearly if you mostly agree or fully agree. Also, the question is about free housing, but you often write about affordable housing, help with costs, or owning a house. These are not the same. Keep your answer on free housing.
task response
Explain who should get free housing and why. For example, say it should be for people with no home, very low pay, illness, or no family help. Then explain why the state should not give it to everyone.
task response
Your prison example is linked to the topic, but it needs more detail. Show how free housing can help a person find work and not go back to crime.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order of ideas is good, but some sentences are long and hard to follow. Use shorter sentences. Put one main idea in each part.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end match your main view. You say “marginalized people” and “own a house”, but the question asks about people who cannot afford housing. Use the same key idea from the question in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, but do not rely only on link words. Start each body part with a simple main sentence, then give a reason and an example.
task response
You give a clear view: the state should help people who cannot pay for a home.
task response
You add a useful point that need is not only about pay; past prison time can also make work and housing hard.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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