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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart illustrates which transport use more often in Edmonton, with the table provides reason using of car.

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The pie chart illustrates which transport use more often in Edmonton, with the table provides reason using of car.
The pie chart illustrates which
Use synonyms
transport
Check wording
mode of transport
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
 more often in Edmonton, with the table providing reasons for using of
car
Use synonyms
. In general, close to one-half
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 a
car
Use synonyms
 in comparison with other
Use synonyms
transport
Check wording
modes of transport
show examples
, and the
reason
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 commute to work. It is clear from the pie chart that
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is rated as a popular
transport
Use synonyms
 among the majority of all
transport
Use synonyms
, with a hefty 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
from four
Change preposition
of all
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the Light Rail Transit (LRT) is on the second level, which takes one-third
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 chart.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the pattern is the complete reverse when it comes to buses and taxis,
people
Correct word choice
where people
show examples
 used a tiny minority (10 per
cent
Use synonyms
). As can be seen from the table, the
reason
Use synonyms
 why people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 the
car
Use synonyms
 in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
, only fifteen per
cent
Use synonyms
 used for leisure activities and shopping,
whereas
Linking Words
 the average for all
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 table is a hefty 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
. People commute to work every day, so it is the most popular
reason
Use synonyms
 why
car
Use synonyms
 is used,
it takes
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 just over
one
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
half.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, car, reason, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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