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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today’s society,
people
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 cannot predict when the risk will come into their lives. Some
people
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 believe it is important for individuals to take
risks
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, in their professional and private lives.
While
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 others differing
this
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 point of view. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the various advantages and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to disadvantages.
To begin
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 with, one prominent advantage is, that when
people
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 take
risks
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, it leads to a successful
life
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. To illustrate, in both personal and work lives, there are some
risks
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people
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 need to fight with to get knowledge. Once they succeed with that, it will personally give a self-confidence to handle anything in their
life
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.
Moreover
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, their surrounding
people
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 blindly trust them and encourage them for everything and the individual will gain self-respect in front of all.
For example
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, the Wright brothers faced many challenges in their invention.
However
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, they managed all the
risks
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 and invented the flight.
On the other hand
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, some hard work will turn into failure. To brief, when
people
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 are giving their 100% to something and it will turn to disappointment they are pushed to depression and stress in their
life
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.
Moreover
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, their confidence level will fall down.
For instance
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, in the
workplace
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workplace,
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 most individuals are trying to achieve something but at a bad time it will turn to failure
therefore
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 their colleagues and the management start to blame them.
Thus
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, sometimes some
risks
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 will destroy a person’s
life
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. In conclusion,
while
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, it is true that the disadvantages like, hard work will turn into failures and lead to health issues, The advantages
such
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 as gaining knowledge and increasing self-confidence offers are undeniable.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that the advantages are far outweigh the drawbacks.

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task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement is clear and directly addresses the question. This will help to clearly outline your standpoint from the outset.
task achievement
It's important to develop each point more thoroughly. Providing more detailed examples and explanations will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main point you will discuss. This helps improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main points of your essay clearly and reinforces your thesis statement.
task achievement
Your introduction sets up the debate well and outlines that you will explore both advantages and disadvantages, before justifying your standpoint.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your statements, which helps provide more depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a consistent structure with a clearly defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarises your viewpoint, reinforcing the advantages of taking risks despite the potential drawbacks.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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