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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that price is the only consideration when buying something. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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In
this
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 modern era, it is undeniable that people buy commodities after considering a lot of things. Some individuals believe that cost is the only factor to consider
while
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 buying the commodity. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement, and I will discuss my thoughts with some examples.
Firstly
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, some buyers are health-conscious; they usually buy
products
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 which have better
ingredients
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 rather than focusing on item value. To elaborate, some
products
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 are manufactured with artificial
ingredients
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, and those who have good knowledge about
ingredients
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 prefer to buy
products
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,
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apply
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 which have more natural content.
For instance
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, as per a recent report by the Indian Consumer Department, 80% of purchasers prefer to buy juices which are high in expenditure from the grocery stores compared to cold drinks , which are less expensive than juices.
Thus
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, consumers buy
products
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 based on their
ingredients
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.
Secondly
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, people never think about price when buying
products
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 because they want to fulfil their needs. To illustrate, these days ,
due to
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 inflation, most essential
products
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 are expensive , but the community knows that without those
products
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, it will be hard to survive.
Hence
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, they prefer to buy them without thinking about price.
For example
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,
due to
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 the COVID-19 pandemic, prices of milk are skyrocketing these days, but it is an essential product for shoppers, and the sale of
this
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 product has doubled since the pandemic.
Therefore
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, buyers buy
products
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 based on their needs rather than based on price. In conclusion, value is the vital factor for some consumers
,
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 when they spend money on
products
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, but the sale of the product
also
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 depends on its
ingredients
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 and the needs of people.
Thus
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, consumers see other factors
also
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 when they buy
products
Use synonyms

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task response
Make your main view stronger and more exact. Say that price is important, but it is not the only thing people consider. This will match your conclusion, where you say price matters for some people.
task response
Develop each reason a little more. For health, explain why people may pay more for natural food: they may feel it is safer or better for their family. For need, explain that people may compare prices but still buy a must-have item.
task response
Be careful with facts that sound made up or hard to prove, such as the report from the Indian Consumer Department and sales doubling. You can use a simple real-life example instead, such as parents buying milk or medicine even when it costs more.
task response
Some examples are not fully clear. Cold drinks and juice are not always direct choices, and milk prices after COVID-19 may not clearly support your point. Choose examples that directly show why quality, safety, need, or use can be more important than price.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same word for the key idea. You use “cost”, “item value”, “value”, “price”, and “expenditure”. Mostly use “price” so your meaning stays clear.
coherence and cohesion
Improve links inside sentences. For example, change “people never think about price” to “Although people may notice the price, they often buy essential goods because they need them.” This is more natural and less extreme.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end of each paragraph clearly lead back to the question. For example: “Therefore, food quality can be more important than price.” Then: “Therefore, need can also be more important than price.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in the conclusion. State your view in one clear sentence, then name the two reasons again: health and basic needs.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start: you do not agree that price is the only thing people think about. You give two main reasons: health and need.
task response
Your examples about juice, milk, and basic goods are linked to your main ideas and help the reader understand your view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion. Words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main point, and you explain that point before giving an example.
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