Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

These days, there has been a growing debate about

job

Use synonyms

opportunities, especially among the new generation of undergraduates. Some believe that choosing a

job

Use synonyms

based on their motivation offers several benefits,

while

Linking Words

others argue that it is rather about the standard of living. In my opinion, I strongly believe that following your passion potentially provides numerous advantages for both professional achievement and happiness. To commence, there are a myriad of benefits to choosing a passionate position. The primary reason is that it motivates individuals to produce more work, increasing productivity which leads to more task achievements.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

choice could contribute to personal growth and career development

due to

Linking Words

productivities

Fix the agreement mistake

productivity

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

, working in a passionate role would offer personal happiness, which gives rise to

job

Use synonyms

sustainability, and remaining in a profession for a longer

time

Use synonyms

For instance

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, there was an interview with a person who works as a software engineer at Google, who needs to develop code in front of a computer daily without people interaction.

Such

Linking Words

an individual can develop several programs over

time

Use synonyms

, coding without any break and creating several ideas

due to

Linking Words

his passion.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, financial stability plays a vital role in

job

Use synonyms

decision-making for everyone.

This

Linking Words

can be challenging for diverse people to decide between their motivation or a high-salary position that might not be enjoyable, and many opt for a second choice since they might have various considerations, particularly financial security and family necessities.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, work-life balance is another crucial factor.

In other words

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, some people might opt for a position

that is

Linking Words

not their passion but offers more free

time

Use synonyms

after working hours, leading to more

time

Use synonyms

spent on their genuine hobbies or family. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some may opine that choosing a high-income

job

Use synonyms

could provide several benefits

such

Linking Words

as better financial needs and work-life balance, I firmly concur that pursuing a motivational

job

Use synonyms

potentially promotes several aspects, including productivity,

job

Use synonyms

longevity, and, of course, happiness in life.

title848

Jul 23, 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate more examples, especially specific instances or statistics, to better illustrate your points and make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Reduce minor grammatical errors and restructure a few sentences to enhance readability and flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a very clear and organized logical structure, with each paragraph having a distinct purpose.

coherence cohesion

The inclusion of a conclusion effectively summarizes the argument, which reinforces the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well supported and linked back to the thesis statement, maintaining a focused discussion throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear, well-supported personal opinion.

task achievement

The ideas presented in the essay are clear and comprehensive, showcasing a robust understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has become very common for people to borrow money . Most of people have a credit card a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well . Is this goid idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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