Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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These days, there has been a growing debate about

job

Use synonyms

opportunities, especially among the new generation of undergraduates. Some believe that choosing a

job

Use synonyms

based on their motivation offers several benefits,

while

Linking Words

others argue that it is rather about the standard of living. In my opinion, I strongly believe that following your passion potentially provides numerous advantages for both professional achievement and happiness. To commence, there are a myriad of benefits to choosing a passionate position. The primary reason is that it motivates individuals to produce more work, increasing productivity which leads to more task achievements.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

choice could contribute to personal growth and career development

due to

Linking Words

productivities

Fix the agreement mistake

productivity

show examples

Finally

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, working in a passionate role would offer personal happiness, which gives rise to

job

Use synonyms

sustainability, and remaining in a profession for a longer

time

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For instance

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, there was an interview with a person who works as a software engineer at Google, who needs to develop code in front of a computer daily without people interaction.

Such

Linking Words

an individual can develop several programs over

time

Use synonyms

, coding without any break and creating several ideas

due to

Linking Words

his passion.

On the other hand

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, financial stability plays a vital role in

job

Use synonyms

decision-making for everyone.

This

Linking Words

can be challenging for diverse people to decide between their motivation or a high-salary position that might not be enjoyable, and many opt for a second choice since they might have various considerations, particularly financial security and family necessities.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, work-life balance is another crucial factor.

In other words

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, some people might opt for a position

that is

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not their passion but offers more free

time

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after working hours, leading to more

time

Use synonyms

spent on their genuine hobbies or family. In conclusion,

although

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some may opine that choosing a high-income

job

Use synonyms

could provide several benefits

such

Linking Words

as better financial needs and work-life balance, I firmly concur that pursuing a motivational

job

Use synonyms

potentially promotes several aspects, including productivity,

job

Use synonyms

longevity, and, of course, happiness in life.

title848Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate more examples, especially specific instances or statistics, to better illustrate your points and make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Reduce minor grammatical errors and restructure a few sentences to enhance readability and flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a very clear and organized logical structure, with each paragraph having a distinct purpose.

coherence cohesion

The inclusion of a conclusion effectively summarizes the argument, which reinforces the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well supported and linked back to the thesis statement, maintaining a focused discussion throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear, well-supported personal opinion.

task achievement

The ideas presented in the essay are clear and comprehensive, showcasing a robust understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environment pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? #countries #people #stress #measures

Shoppers have too much choice, from chocolate bars to jeans.' What, in your opinion, are the advantages and disadvantages of having many things to choose from?