Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Over the past few centuries, the number of endangered species has drastically increased.
This
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worrying situation has raised the question of whether we should try to save them or not. Many people hold the view that
this
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would be a waste of money. Whilst there are some reasons to justify
this
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point, I do not entirely agree with it. On the one hand, all actions aimed at saving endangered animals require a vast amount of resources.
This
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includes large territories with restricted access, the means of transport necessary,
as well as
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the special equipment needed for medical controls.
Moreover
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, all people
implied
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involved
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,
such
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as veterinarians, scientists, pilots, drivers, guards
and
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, and
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all members of rescue teams must receive proper training. These resources come at a high cost, taking into account that most of them are very specific to their purpose, and cannot be easily manufactured or replaced, and there are views that these sums could be spent to make a greater impact.
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, it seems logical not to waste sums that could potentially end humanity’s greatest problems, including famine, poverty and unemployment, and focus on solving them.
On the other hand
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, many endangered species play a major role in nature.
For example
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, they regulate the population of their prey or act as natural
sanitizers
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sanitisers
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in their ecosystems. Their removal could generate disastrous consequences, affecting not only the environment
,
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apply
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but
also
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humans. A case in point is the extinction of the Tasmanian wolf, which led to a dramatic increase in the number of kangaroos in Tasmania.
Consequently
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, they damaged significant areas of grazing land and negatively affected sheep farming.
That is
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why I think we should protect them from extinction, as that could cause significant problems in crucial economic branches
such
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as agriculture, which are of paramount importance in our existence. In my opinion,
such
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actions should be well-funded. I believe that they represent a way to prevent catastrophes from interrupting economic activities. In conclusion,
while
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some people argue that saving animals on the verge of extinction is a waste of resources, I disagree entirely. I feel that society as a whole benefits from it, and should be informed more about
their
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its
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role in nature.

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task response
Make your main view fully clear. In the first part, you say you do not entirely agree, but in the end you say you disagree entirely. Choose one clear view and use the same view throughout.
task response
Build the first main point more carefully. The idea that money should go to famine, poverty, and jobs is relevant, but explain why this should come before saving animals. This will make the other side sound fairer.
task response
Give one more clear reason for saving species, such as their value for food, health, or the natural world. Then explain how this can help people in real life.
task response
The short paragraph beginning “In my opinion” repeats your view and does not add much. Put this idea into the second body paragraph, with more detail, or remove it.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and hold too many ideas. Break them into two or three shorter sentences so the reader can follow them more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body paragraph focused on one main idea. The first paragraph can focus on cost, while the second can focus on the harm caused when a species is lost.
coherence and cohesion
Use links with care. “Therefore” in the first body paragraph leads to a strong claim about ending humanity’s greatest problems, but the link is not fully shown. Add a clear step between the high cost and that claim.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point in the final two paragraphs. A conclusion should sum up your main reasons, not bring in a new point about informing society unless you have developed it earlier.
task response
You give a clear view from the start and keep it to the end: saving animals is not a waste of money. You also look at both sides of the issue.
task response
Your example of the Tasmanian wolf helps show how the loss of one animal can hurt land use and farming.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, reasons against saving animals, reasons for saving them, your view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “Consequently” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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