You stayed with a local family when you participated in an exchange program in lreland. You returned to your home country in a hurry and found that you had forgotten to take your laptop. Writea letter to the family and thank them for their hospitality. Describe your computer and where it is,and ask the host to send it back to you.

#exchange #program #lreland #home #country #hurry #laptop #writea #hospitality #computer #host

Dear Mr, Jackson, I hope you are doing well.

am writing

this

letter to request that you

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

help me send back my laptop. First of all,

am extremely grateful for your hospitality in Ireland.

have to say that was the happiest day of my life, and created memories that

will cherish forever, At that moment, your guys

take

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

me to see many beautiful landscapes and new friends, which

helps

Wrong verb form

helped

show examples

adopt

Correct your spelling

adapt

show examples

to locallife faster. Meanwhile, unfortunately, my computer

lost

Add a missing verb

was lost

show examples

in your home, but

only discovered

this

situation when

arrived in my country.

remember that

should put it on my bedside table. At the same time, my laptop has a lot of important study materials.

Therefore

would very

appreciate

Correct quantifier usage

much appreciate

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you could send it and its host back to my home.

Furthermore

, please be careful of transportation damage, as it is a large object, and

also

will fully bear the transport costs.I am looking forward to hearing from you, and if you need

further

information, please do not hesitate to contact me, as

am pleased to supply it, At the same time,

hope we have the opportunity to meet again. Best wishes, Xiyue

Submitted by cyh000823 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more details about the laptop, such as brand and color, to make identification easier.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the letter is thoroughly checked for grammatical and phrasing errors to improve clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

The letter contains a polite and grateful tone, which is suitable for the context.

coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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