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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years,
education
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 has been treated as if it
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 a luxury rather than a basic human right, despite being vital for everyone regardless of their financial situation. I totally agree with the view that
education
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 should not be associated with wealth.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits of providing free
education
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as well as
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 some of the disadvantages it may cause. One major benefit of free
education
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 is that
individuals
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 from poor countries will have the opportunity to acquire advanced knowledge. Many students from different parts of the world have ambitious goals and aim for a brighter future;
however
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, their financial situation can prevent them from pursuing higher
education
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.
This
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 is because they may have to choose between spending their limited money on essential needs and paying for their
education
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.
Therefore
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, providing free access to advanced educational
resources
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 and tutoring sessions can give these
individuals
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 the opportunity to develop their knowledge and achieve their goals.
On the other hand
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, free
education
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 may
also
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 create some disadvantages, particularly a lack of
resources
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. If numerous
individuals
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 are able to pursue
education
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 without worrying about the cost, schools and universities may struggle to accommodate the increasing number of students.
For example
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, educational institutions may experience overcrowded classrooms and a shortage of teachers and learning materials.
As a result
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, the quality of
education
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 could decrease because there may not be enough
resources
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 to meet every student’s needs. In conclusion,
although
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 free
education
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 can provide
individuals
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 from less wealthy backgrounds with valuable opportunities, it can
also
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 put pressure on educational
resources
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that
education
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 should be accessible to everyone, but certain limitations may be necessary to ensure that sufficient
resources
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 are available for all students.

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task response
Keep one clear view from start to end. At the start, you fully agree that education should be free. In the end, you say there should be limits. This makes your view less clear. You could say that education should be free, while the state must give enough money to schools.
task response
Answer the key part of the question more fully: why education is a basic human right. Add ideas such as every child needs a fair start, education can help people get work, and it can help a country grow.
task response
Your first main point is good, but “poor countries” is too broad. Say “students from poor families” if you mean people who cannot pay for school.
task response
The problem of too many students is real, but it does not mean free education should be limited. Explain how this problem can be solved, for example with more state money, more teachers, and more schools.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each paragraph and your main view stronger. Start the second body paragraph with a line such as: “However, these problems can be managed and should not stop free education.”
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need one more step of support. For example, after saying that schools may lack teachers and books, explain how state support could stop this from harming learning.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should repeat the same clear view as your introduction. Avoid adding a new idea about limits unless you have clearly supported it in the body.
task response
You give a clear view at the start: education should not depend on wealth. You also show both the good and bad sides of free education.
task response
Your examples are clear and fit your main ideas, such as poor students choosing between basic needs and school costs, and schools having too many students.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an introduction, one paragraph on the good side, one on the bad side, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “however”, “therefore”, “for example”, and “as a result” help the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
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