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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting tha main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table illustrates the
amounts
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number
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 of
people
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 visiting Ashdown
Museum
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 during the year before and after its redecoration,
while
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 the pie charts compare
people
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's satisfaction responses during the same two periods.
Overall
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, the refurbishment resulted in a notable surge in the total number of visitors. Meanwhile, more
people
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 have satisfied and very satisfied comments on the
museum
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. Before redecoration, there are total
74,000
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of 74,000
show examples
people
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 who visited the Ashdown
museum
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.
However
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, the figure increased to 92,000 during the year after refurbishment.
Initially
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, up to 40% of visitors showed
unsatisfication
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
 towards the
museum
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, but
this
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 proportion significantly reduced to 15% after modification.
By contrast
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, the shares of
people
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 feeling satisfied or very satisfied with the Ashdown
museum
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 experienced great growth, rising from 30% to 40% and 15% to 35%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Moreover
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, the percentage of very
disatisfied
Correct your spelling
dissatisfied
 visitors after redecoration declined to half its original figure (10%).
However
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, the share of
people
Use synonyms
 with no response(5%) remained unchanged.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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