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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting major sporting events outweigh the disadvantages

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Introduction
Hosting major international sporting
events
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 has become increasingly common, and
while
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 some people believe that
such
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events
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 benefit the host country, others disagree.
Although
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 they can cause traffic congestion and require substantial initial investment, I believe the advantages outweigh these drawbacks because they create
employment
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opportunities
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 and stimulate the local economy.
Body paragraph 1
One major advantage of hosting a major sporting
event
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 is that it provides
employment
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opportunities
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 for local residents. When
such
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 an
event
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 occurs in a country, it brings a large number of international visitors, providing local businesses with more customers. By providing services
such
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 as accommodation, food and transportation to these visitors, local businesses can earn greater profits.
As a result
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, these businesses may need additional workers to meet the increased demand, creating more
employment
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opportunities
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 for local residents. Ultimately, stable
employment
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 can increase household incomes and improve people’s living standards, thereby strengthening the local economy.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, hosting a major sporting
event
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 can place considerable pressure on a country’s infrastructure and finances. A large influx of visitors can significantly increase the number of vehicles on the roads, resulting in severe traffic congestion and longer commuting times for local residents.
In addition
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, governments may need to invest substantial amounts of money in constructing stadiums, improving transportation networks and providing security.
As a result
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, less funding may be available for essential public services,
such
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 as healthcare and education.
However
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, these drawbacks are often temporary,
while
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 the improved infrastructure and increased economic activity can provide benefits long after the
event
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 has ended.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 hosting international sporting
events
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 can cause temporary traffic problems and require significant public investment, I believe the advantages are greater. The
employment
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opportunities
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, increased business activity and long-term economic benefits generated by these
events
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 can outweigh their short-term financial and infrastructural costs.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you answer the question directly. To make the answer even stronger, add one real or more exact example, such as a city, an event, or a type of job created.
task response
You explain both sides well: jobs and money on one side, traffic and public cost on the other. You could make the link to the main question more direct by saying why the long-term gains are greater than the cost.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, main good point, main bad point, and ending. Each paragraph has one main idea and is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words well, such as 'As a result', 'In addition', and 'However'. To avoid a slightly repeated feel, use fewer 'As a result' links or change one to 'This means that'.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph clearly sums up your view. It would be even better if the second main paragraph used one short example to show how roads or stadiums can help after the event.
task response
You give a clear answer that the good points are stronger than the bad points, and you keep this view throughout the essay.
task response
Your ideas are relevant and well explained. The chain from visitors to more business, more jobs, higher income, and a stronger local economy is clear.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, so the reader can clearly see your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay moves smoothly from benefits to problems and then back to your final view. This makes it easy to read.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • major sporting event
  • host nation
  • international exposure
  • boost tourism
  • generate revenue
  • local businesses
  • public infrastructure
  • upgrade transport systems
  • create temporary employment
  • construction costs
  • taxpayers’ money
  • public debt
  • budget overruns
  • underused stadiums
  • long-term legacy
  • traffic congestion
  • disrupt daily life
  • careful financial planning
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