IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart below illustrates the number of worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 countries from 1995 until 2010.

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The line chart compares the
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numbers
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number
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 of international travellers
arrival
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arriving
 in five distinct countries: the USA, France, Malaysia,
Brazil
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 and
Egypt
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 between 1995 and 2010.The figures are shown in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the USA was the most popular country throughout the years
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, France reached its peak by the end of the given period.
Number
Correct article usage
The number
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 of people visiting Malaysia represented a slow increase over the first decade, before its considerable growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Brazil
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 and
Egypt
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were
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for the lowest rate of tourists. At first glance, the USA
was
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apply
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accounted for the highest
numbers
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 of worldwide visitors
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 started at about 70
million
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 and ended up at 90
million
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, despite some minor drops.
Although
Linking Words
 France sight seekers were around 30
million
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 in 1995,
there
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their
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numbers
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 doubled
up
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apply
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dramatically in 2000, before the figure increased slightly in 2005 and ended up with a significant rise at around 90
million
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 tourists in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
Egypt
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 and
Brazil
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 were at similar
numbers
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 at less than 20 in 1995
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
,
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Egypt
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Egypt's
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 rates rose steadily
throught
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throughout
 the period,
while
Linking Words
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Brazil
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Brazil's
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numbers
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 encountered a minor fluctuation in 2000 , but succeded to reach its peak by the end of the period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Malaysia went up gradually over the years,

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, brazil, egypt, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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