IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is argued that the solution to the housing crisis is to build big blocks with lots of apartments, reaching a higher number of houses. In my opinion, building these high condominiums can provide enough homes in big metropolises, but with regulations. By making a high number of apartments, the offer increases , and it gives more options to people in need, and it is a good way to make the most of the area in big cities.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, increasing the number of condominiums in a big city is directly related to a rise in supply in that sector. Raising the supply means making a better balance between supply and demand, making the prices fall , and by
this
Linking Words
 giving more opportunities. It is a good solution to the problem because it is related to high housing prices in big cities.
For example
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, Carlos III University in Madrid made a study regarding the housing crisis in Spain nowadays and found that a possible solution is to increase the supply by building at least 1 million houses around the country.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, big metropolises have issues with space because there are many more people than houses , so not everyone can fit in these places. It is known that these kinds of cities have empty spaces in the outskirts that can be used to build these high condominiums.
Moreover
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, if
this
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 kind of construction is made in the metropolis, the space is used in a way that many more people fit, even if it is not in the centre, which improves the efficiency of city planning.
For instance
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, the “Comunidad de Madrid” in 2022 built three one-hundred-and-fifty-meter apartment blocks near the airport to help with the increase in population in the city.
Conclusion
Overall
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, building these kinds of blocks in a big capital helps to provide enough homes for everyone by increasing the supply and decreasing housing prices and
finally
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, with the optimisation of the space to raise the capacity of the capital.

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task response
Make your view more exact. You agree, but only when there are clear rules. Say what these rules are, such as good roads, schools, green space, and fair prices.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain not only that more homes can lower prices, but also why this may take time and may not help if new flats are too costly.
task response
Your examples are linked to the topic, but they need more care. Use clear facts that you can fully explain, or use a simple general example instead of names and exact numbers that may not be sure.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. To make the line of ideas stronger, begin each body part with one short main point and keep all later lines on that point.
coherence and cohesion
Some long lines join too many ideas with 'and'. Split them into shorter lines. This will make the meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with care. For example, use 'As a result' for an effect, 'However' for a different side, and 'For example' only before a real example.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea many times: more flats, more supply, and more people can fit. Add a new point in each part, such as land use in one part and cost in the other.
task response
You answer the main question and give a clear view: tall blocks can help, but they should be built with rules.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic. You explain that tall homes can add more homes and use city land well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to see as a full piece, with an opening, two body parts, and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'Overall' to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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