Many believe that traditional classroom-based education will be replaced by alternative methods by the year 2050. What is your opinion?

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Introduction
Individuals argue that traditional
classroom
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-based
education
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will be replaced by alternative methods in the future.
This
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essay partially disagrees with the claim and will discuss why alternative methods might not take over.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason is that
classroom
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-based
education
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creates an ideal learning atmosphere. Scholars are able to ask each other about the complex concepts they got stuck on. Everyone aims for the same objective, helps each other get through obstacles and motivates each other to improve
while
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building friendships. Despite the
classroom
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varying
with
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in
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size, some possibly only have ten to twenty individuals, each individual has an outstanding field. Some of the learners might be
extra-ordinarily
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extraordinarily
talented in music
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while
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, while
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some can be very creative and always come up with solutions nobody has ever thought of.
This
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education
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system not only allows students to learn knowledge from books, but
also
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strength from
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to strengthen
each other.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, due development of technology , online meeting platforms
such
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as
zoom
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Zoom
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and
google
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Google Classroom
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classroom
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are extremely popular nowadays. These apps brought learning to another stage as they are more
convenient
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convenient,
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as they can attend classes by simply activating an account and joining the meeting anywhere. More and more tutors started to offer learners online classes with more flexible time schedules. On the internet , nearly every learning material can be found. Not only are they free, but
also
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organised in
cleaner
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a cleaner
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, more understandable sequence and format. Students are able to have access to learning materials effortlessly and learn on their own with online tutorials, making self-learning possible.
This
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phenomenon has led to an undeniable fact that online learning can sometimes be a better alternative
learning method than
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to
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going to an actual
classroom
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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both
education
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systems have their own benefits, I believe that the traditional
classroom
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-based
education
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system cannot be replaced. The reasons are that it allows students to learn
above
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beyond
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the
classroom
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and think
in
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from
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different perspectives
while
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sharing opinions.
Besides
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, it
also
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creates a perfect learning atmosphere that encourages learners to study together and assist each other.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that online learning will grow, but it will not fully take the place of schools by 2050.
task response
Explain more fully why face-to-face learning cannot be replaced. For example, teachers can see when a student needs help, and students can practise group work and speaking with others.
task response
Your online-learning paragraph is useful, but it mostly shows why online study is good. Link it back to your view by saying why these good points are still not enough to replace the classroom.
task response
Use one clear real-life example. For example, a science class may need lab work, tools, and teacher help that are hard to do well at home.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each body paragraph begin with one direct main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences contain too many ideas. Break them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show contrast and result: “However”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore”. Use them only when the link is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point about a good learning atmosphere in both the first body paragraph and the ending. Add a new reason instead, such as teacher support or hands-on work.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear overall view: classroom learning should not be fully replaced.
task response
You include both sides of the topic. You explain the social value of classrooms and the ease of online learning.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a sensible order: classroom benefits first, online learning next, then a final view.
coherence and cohesion
The ending returns to your main view and brings the essay to a clear close.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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