IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that only reason for learning foriegn language Is in order to traveL to or work in foriegn country. Other say these are not the only reasons. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
The topic above
is revealing
Wrong verb form
reveals
show examples
 two situations and two different opinions
Body paragraph 1
Personally i do understand two sides and i think theres many different reasons for why many
people
Use synonyms
 wants to learn foriegn
languages
Use synonyms
 , whats so ever i do agree that
people
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 do actually learn
languages
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 in order to travel or explore the world and me personally i am one of them , i do think learning new
languages
Use synonyms
 is now
days
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 necessary not only for travelling but
also
Linking Words
 for your own CV , now
days
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 companines needs belingual workers in order to collab with companines outside the country
Body paragraph 2
I
also
Linking Words
 agree that learning a different
language
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 is not only for travelling , in example i believe that refugees tend to learn the country
language
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 by force , by force i mean as they need to somehow commiunicate to the
people
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 around them and
that is
Linking Words
 by learning the countries
language
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 , I
also
Linking Words
 believe that its a hobby of some
people
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 , some
people
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 find it fun and creative to learn different
languages
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 , and i do deeply agree with them , learning new
languages
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 can be amazing and it can
also
Linking Words
 open many doors for you in the future , and one of them is a job , now
days
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 specifically in saudi speaking only arabic can do nothing for you , now
days
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 you will not be accepted in collage if you dont have an english test that verify you as a native speaker
Conclusion
I think that sums up my opinion , i dont believe that
people
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 only learn a new
language
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only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
for travelling ,
theres
Correct your spelling
there are
 many more reasons that not all of us might agree on.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. Make your main view clearer in the first part: travel and work are important reasons, but they are not the only reasons.
task response
Give each main idea more detail. For example, explain how a new language can help a person get work, study, make friends, or live in a new country.
task response
Your example about refugees is useful. Make it more clear by saying that they may need the local language for food, school, health care, and daily life.
task response
Avoid ideas that are too strong or not fully true, such as saying Arabic alone can do nothing for a person or that a test shows someone is a native speaker. Use a more careful idea instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: first part for the topic and your view, one part for travel and work, one part for other reasons, and a final short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main idea. Then add one or two reasons and an example before moving to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the path of your ideas: First, For example, Also, However, As a result, and In short.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same point about jobs in more than one part. Put all job ideas together, then use the next part for other reasons such as study, hobbies, and daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Write a fuller ending. Repeat your main view in one or two clear sentences instead of only saying that it sums up your opinion.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you talk about travel and work, other reasons, and your own view.
task response
You use real and useful ideas, such as work, travel, hobbies, and the need to live and talk with people in a new country.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear separate parts, and the reader can see when you move from one view to the other.
coherence and cohesion
You often use examples to help explain your ideas, especially the example about people who move to a new country.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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