Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination while, others think that money and personal appearances are important. Discuss both views and give opinion.

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Introduction

Currently, some people believe that success in life depends on hard

work

Use synonyms

and

determination

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others counter that money and personal appearances are important.

Body paragraph 1

Personally, I believe that a mix of hard

work

Use synonyms

determination

Use synonyms

, and money is the definitive key to

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

successful in life without the need for personal appearances.

Body paragraph 2

Starting with hard

work

Use synonyms

and

determination

Use synonyms

, it is almost mandatory

Correct word choice

show examples

even if someone is very talented or has high intelligence. If they don't put in the hard

work

Use synonyms

;

Punctuation problem

show examples

they will become lazy and struggle later on.

For example

Linking Words

, a high school student who is highly talented and intelligent is lazy yet effortlessly aces their exams.

However

Linking Words

, when the same student pursues higher education, their lack of discipline and motivation means that once they reach a major obstacle that their natural gift cannot get through, they would be completely stuck

there

Punctuation problem

there,

show examples

while

Linking Words

their peers pass them with sheer

determination

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 3

On the other hand

Linking Words

, financial backing is

also

Linking Words

just as crucial. One major example being higher education itself,

while

Linking Words

many scholarships are available to reduce the massive tuition,

for

Change preposition

apply

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the most fully funded scholarships are usually reserved

geniuses

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for geniuses

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or those who have the sheer

work

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rate of an athlete like Cristiano Ronaldo. For an ordinary student, a partial scholarship is the best they'll get, and scholarships are usually for

tuitions

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tuition

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only

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;

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students will still need money for accommodation, food,

even

Correct word choice

and even

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textbooks.

However

Linking Words

, for personal appearances, I believe that it is negligible

Punctuation problem

;

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successful people don't necessarily need to be famous.

Conclusion

So in conclusion, I believe that a strong

work

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rate,

determination

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, and financial backing

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

what people need to be successful.

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Aug 26, 2026

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task response

You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly what “success” means. It can mean work, study, health, or family life. This will make your main idea more complete.

task response

Your view on looks is clear, but it is very short. Add one reason why looks can help some people, such as in sales or media, before you explain why they are not needed for long-term success.

task response

The school example is useful and easy to follow. The money point also has good detail. Add one short real-life example of a person who used hard work with little money, or money with little effort, to make the balance better.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make the second body part easier to read by splitting the long scholarship part into two smaller parts.

coherence and cohesion

Some links between ideas need to be smoother. For example, after saying money is important, state the main reason first: money gives people access to study, food, housing, and tools. Then give the scholarship example.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Use full stops more often. This will help the reader follow your meaning, especially in the first body part and the part about scholarships.

coherence and cohesion

Use the same words for key ideas. You use “hard work”, “work rate”, “discipline”, and “motivation”. These are close in meaning, but choose one main term and use the others only when needed.

task response

You answer all parts of the question: you discuss hard work and determination, money and looks, and you give your own view.

task response

Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same until the end: hard work, determination, and money matter more than looks.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear order. The first main part is about effort, and the second main part is about money and looks.

coherence and cohesion

The example of the talented but lazy student supports your point about why hard work matters over time.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination while, others think that money and personal appearances are important. Discuss both views and give opinion.

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?