The maps show how one town changed from 1990 to 2010.

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The two maps show
extent
Correct article usage
the extent
show examples
to which one town shifted from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the town has been modernised a great deal with many facilities
such
Linking Words
as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
electricity, a lake, a hotel and villages,
while
Linking Words
several traditional and natural features were removed. In 1990, the
river
Use synonyms
ran along the southern part of the
map
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. On the western side of the town, there were all traditional facilities and buildings,
while
Linking Words
forests and mountains were to the north and south. The ancient buildings and rare plants/animals were located adjacent to each other.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the
river
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occupied the centre, the irrigated farmlands and the villages were in the east of the
map
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. In 2010, the lake was constructed near the mountains at the top of the
map
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. The hotel has been built, which resulted in the disappearance of the irrigated farmlands and the
villages
Punctuation problem
villages,
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whereas
Linking Words
there was electricity
instead
Linking Words
of rare plants/animals, ancient buildings and forest on the
weast-north
Correct your spelling
west-north
of the side.
In addition
Linking Words
, the dam was replaced by the long
river
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, and the
river
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was replaced
further
Linking Words
south on the
map
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words river, map with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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