IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

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The bar chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals employed in five types of work in a certain region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, Sales, Computing, and Nursing underwent a significant increase in their
number
Use synonyms
 of employees,
while
Linking Words
 Accounting and Farming decreased slightly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Sales accounted for the highest figures in both years. Focusing on the increases, the figure for sales was 145.000 in 2001, before it rose to almost 170.000 in 2008, dominating the graph with the largest amount of workers in both years.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Computing and Nursing showed almost the same numbers in
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 with 58.000 for the former and 55.000 for the latter. By 2008, both of the figures increased slightly and reached 78.000 and 65.000
number
Use synonyms
 of
labours
Replace the word
labourers
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, Accounting and Farming reported opposite trend showing
slightly
Replace the word
a slight
 decrease in their shares. In 2001
number
Use synonyms
 of people who worked as a Accounter were around 65.000, but fell to 60,000 by 2008.
Similarly
Linking Words
, farmers were above 20.000, before
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 to 18.000 in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, farming reported the lowest figures in each year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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