IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are Still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Some argue that with the growth of digital media, theatres and cinemas may have lost their interest,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think that cinema is part of the economy and the culture. Online streaming applications may be the reason why the audience stays at home. For other play house is an intense experience. In my opinion, going to the playhouse is an experience because of the environment.
Body paragraph 1
Some big streaming applications have been taking the lead in the film business.
For example
Linking Words
 Netlfix offers a wide variety of films ,
such
Linking Words
 as horror or family movies.
This
Linking Words
 variety touches a large number of audiences , from adults to children. In fact, people do not need to move to a troupe to watch content.
Also
Linking Words
, the digital age introduced a new type of content , like youtube video.
As a result
Linking Words
, it partially replaces the picture industry , reducing the number of people in the industry.
Body paragraph 2
Some cities are economically dependant one the movie business.
For instance
Linking Words
, Hollywood is the city where all the studios are located.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a troupe is part of a culture. The United States is known for their movies. Fans from all over the world fly just to watch a movie in a theatre. Broadway in New York is a great example. Every day hundred of people go to see the best actors in the world.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, steaming application replace a lot of the cinema and theatre because it allows viewers to stay at home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that the playhouse industry takes part in the economy and the culture of a country like the United States. For me, there is nothing better than enjoying watching a film in the cinema with the family.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, explain more clearly why the cinema or theatre experience cannot be fully replaced by watching at home. For example, you could write about the big screen, shared feelings, and live actors.
task response
Some ideas need more support. The point about online video is useful, but explain how it takes viewers away from films, theatres, or cinemas. Also, say more about how these places help jobs and local business.
task response
Your examples are good, especially Hollywood and Broadway. Be careful: Broadway is mainly known for live shows, not for people who fly there only to watch a movie.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Each body part has one main side of the discussion, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Words such as “First,” “In addition,” “However,” and “For this reason” can show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for each place. You use “cinema,” “theatre,” “playhouse,” and “troupe,” but some of these do not mean the same thing. Use “cinema” for films and “theatre” for live plays.
coherence and cohesion
Check a few word forms and spelling so the meaning stays clear: “Netflix,” “streaming,” “dependent on,” “hundreds,” and “their movies.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: online entertainment, the value of cinemas and theatres, and your own opinion.
task response
You use real examples, such as Netflix, Hollywood, and Broadway, to make your points more clear.
coherence and cohesion
The order of your ideas works well: first online viewing, then money and culture, and finally your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending clearly returns to the main question and states your personal choice.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: