IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
The world communication system
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 going through very fast changes
throw
Use the right word
through
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 century , specifically the
last
Linking Words
 two decades. The use of social
media
Use synonyms
 is really replacing the idea of Facebook to
face
Verb problem
facilitate
show examples
 interaction among
people
Use synonyms
 in the world .
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of communicating carries many advantages and disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
First
lit
Verb problem
let
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 us list
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
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 wonderful advantages and the magical
way
Use synonyms
 of saving
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
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 time and
life's
Check wording
lives
show examples
.
Now days
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
 business and work are
way
Use synonyms
more
Rephrase
apply
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easier than before , it's faster and
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
smoother . It's all because of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fact that you can call any body with different ways
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 in a minute. Either
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
calling
or
Punctuation problem
,
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 chatting
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 sound recording
Correct word choice
, or
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also
Linking Words
 exchanging photos and videos in a minute.
It's
Check wording
It
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also
Linking Words
 saves lives because you don't need to run to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
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 carrying how you live
facing
Punctuation problem
, facing
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 traffic
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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more
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
more problems
now days you
Punctuation problem
nowadays. You
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 can call
ambulance
Correct article usage
an ambulance
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they will arrive in minutes to help and give care to
how we
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 live .
Body paragraph 2
But
als
Correct your spelling
also
 carry disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as being
Rephrase
less lazy
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lazy
Punctuation problem
lazy,
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 less communication
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 replacing the
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 idea.
Were
Use the right word
Where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can communicate with no borders between each other. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 because of social
media
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 start not to meet their relatives and
people
Use synonyms
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they love
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 life more difficult and formal . Social
media
Use synonyms
 and networking
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 our lifestyle
more fast more
Replace the word
faster
 than we expect .
This
Linking Words
 makes
as
Correct pronoun usage
us
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 more sensitive and effective to anything around us .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it carries even worse consequences than all of
this
Linking Words
it
Punctuation problem
; it
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 helps thieves and criminals to enter our livelihood easily without fear and physical effort.
Conclusion
Social
media
Use synonyms
have made
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many advantages and disadvantages
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it's all about how we use it in our daily life. We need to be more careful about it and use it
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the right
way
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
State your answer clearly in the first part: do the good points outweigh the bad points, or not? Your essay lists both sides, but it does not give a clear final choice.
Task response
Use ideas that answer the main point. The help from an ambulance is a good example of fast contact, but explain how social media itself helps in this case.
Task response
Give one clear main idea in each body part. For example, write one part about easy contact and work, and one part about less real-life time with family and friends.
Task response
Explain each point more fully. After saying that people meet less, say why this can hurt close family and friend ties.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Make the link between the first sentence and the question more clear.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words with care: 'First', 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. Do not use 'But also' at the start of a new main part; use 'However' instead.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep the same idea in each sentence. Some lines are hard to follow, such as 'carrying how you live' and 'the idea of Facebook to face interaction'. Use short, clear sentences.
Coherence and cohesion
End with your clear view, not only advice to be careful. Say if the good points are greater than the bad points and give one short reason.
Task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of social media, and your points stay close to the topic.
Task response
You give useful real-life points about quick contact, work, family, and crime.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay is split into clear parts: an opening, a part on good points, a part on bad points, and an ending.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'First', 'In fact', and 'However' show that you are trying to guide the reader through your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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