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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
As the number of educated people is continually growing, universities attempt to make the process of studying (and
it's
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its
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 result) as efficient as possible. Among the ideas to improve the conditions of students are the thoughts that all undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement.
Body paragraph 1
A number of higher education establishments have already implemented these ideas into
life
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practice
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is the advantage of developed
contries
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countries
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, whose economy allows them
spent
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to spend
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 money on
this
Linking Words
 aspect.
Body paragraph 2
Unfortunately, Ukraine is not among their number. Yet.
Body paragraph 3
Weighing up the pluses and minuses of
such
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strategies
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strategies,
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 one
can't
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cannot help
 but mention that advantages prevail.
Firstly
Linking Words
, going abroad, a student gets the opportunity to compare the approaches and levels of education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, undergraduates, who are still polishing their skills, have the chance to practice them in
the
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a
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 completely new environment and probably see new horizons
of
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for
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 their future career.
In addition
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 to the above mentioned reasons, let us consider the fact of cultural enrichment.
Body paragraph 4
What concerns doing a work placement
most
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, most
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 of us will agree with the opinion
,
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apply
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 that theory and practice are two polar sides of any job. The possibility to try yourself in several work positions or even fields gives mostly advantages, allowing students to fit themselves into the real profession,
opposing
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as opposed
 to those which are so wonderfully depicted in films and books.
Moreover
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, a lot of people spend their whole life doing a job they do not really enjoy. So, why spend time on something you are not that good at?
Conclusion
There are definitely
the
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apply
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drawbacks
of
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to
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such
Linking Words
 ideas, one of them being economical inability of
education
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the education
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 system to provide
such
Linking Words
 courses for undergraduates in ALL universities.
However
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, the fact that developed countries are already moving forward in that direction gives us hope that in
short
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the short
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 or long
time
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term
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this
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 strategy will become
wide spread
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widespread
 and even will be taken
by us as
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for
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 granted. After all, what to invest money in if not in young people, the future of humanity
.
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?
show examples

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, and keep this view through the whole essay.
task response
Give more detail about the bad points. For example, talk about cost, time away from home, and the fact that some students may not find a good work place.
task response
Use clear real examples. The point about Ukraine is personal, but it does not fully show why study abroad or work should be part of every course. Add an example of a student learning a skill at work or in another country.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main body, and end. To make it easier to follow, use one paragraph for study abroad, one for work, and one for the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are too formal or not clear, such as “one can't but mention” and “What concerns”. Use simple links: “First”, “Also”, “However”, and “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The paragraph about developed countries and Ukraine comes too early and breaks the flow before you explain your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph shorter and more direct. End by repeating why the good points are greater than the bad points, rather than moving to a wide point about young people.
task response
You answer both parts of the topic by discussing study abroad and work placements, and you clearly say that the good points are stronger.
task response
Your ideas about seeing other ways of learning, gaining work skills, and finding a job that suits you are relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses paragraphs and has a clear final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “Firstly”, “Moreover”, “However”, and “After all”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
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