IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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 more and more
people
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 read
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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 on the
Internet
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. But a lot of
people
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consist
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continue
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 to
use
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 the
newspaper
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 in their daily life.You can not refuse to
use
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 the traditional
newspaper
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 or acclaim the
Internet
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.
Body paragraph 1
In my viewpoint, most
of
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apply
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young
people
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 will fall in love with the
Internet
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, because they always
use
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the
Correct article usage
their
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 mobile
phone
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phones
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 in their
life
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lives
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. It is portable and useful, they think they do not need to bring equipments to anywhere.
Mobile
Correct article usage
A mobile
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 phone can help them solve problems. About
this
Linking Words
, there are different kinds of
news
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' application in mobile
phone
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phones
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. It is
convient
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convenient
 to get the
news
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 and information. Nowadays, young
people
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 do not like to
spent
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spend
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 their spare
time
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 on search the information and
news
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. They are liable to
use
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 a simple
way
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 to get these things. So they will
suppose
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be supposed
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 to
use
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 the
Internet
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are some
people
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like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
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 to
use
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 the
newspaper
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. They have more
time
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 in their daily life. They think the
newspaper
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 is more
usful
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useful
 than the
Internet
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.
Becase
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Because
 they
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use
Wrong verb form
have used
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 these conventional
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 for a long
time
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.
they
Capitalize the word
They
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 did not need to
use
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 much
time
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 in searching
someting
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for something
.
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Newspaper
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The newspaper
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 is a familiar
way
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 to them.
Although
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 they
use
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 the
newspapaer
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newspaper
,
but
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apply
show examples
I think
,
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apply
show examples
 they need to learn how to
use
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 the
Internet
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, because we will go to the
Internet
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 age.
Conclusion
Overall
Linking Words
, I appriciate to
use
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 the
Internet
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 ,but
newspaper
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 still a useful
way
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 in some particular
time
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.

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Task response
Make your main view very clear in the first paragraph. Say if you agree or disagree, and explain why. Your essay says both news forms are useful, but it does not clearly answer if newspapers will stay important for most people.
Task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain that online news is fast, free, and easy to read on a phone. Then explain why some people still read newspapers, such as older people or people who like a paper copy.
Task response
Use real and clear examples. For example: “A student can read breaking news on the bus with a phone.” This will make your ideas stronger.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph about Internet news, one paragraph about newspapers, and a conclusion. This will help the reader follow your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with a clear main sentence. For example: “Online news is more popular with young people.” Then give reasons and an example.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”. Avoid unclear lines like “About this” and “So they will suppose to use the Internet.”
Coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the same idea. Use “newspapers” rather than changing between “newspaper”, “traditional newspaper”, and “conventional way” too often.
Task response
You discuss both Internet news and newspapers, so you address the two main sides of the topic.
Task response
Your ideas about young people using phones and older people liking familiar newspapers are relevant to the question.
Coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and include a short conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
You try to show contrast with phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Although”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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