Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The effectiveness of cooperation and
competition
constitutes a dilemma
that is
simultaneously scrutinized by employing a spectrum of compare and contrast strategies. Some, including me, advocate that competitive activities are beneficial,
however
,
others
argue that cooperative programs are paramount. On the one hand,
according to
many, like me,
competition
is auspicious owing to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
broad range of features it provides for the citizens
such
as mental sharpness. If individuals compete against each other frequently in personal and professional capacities, they definitely will be empowered to achieve higher goals and accomplish more advanced tasks in their lifetime,
for example
.
Furthermore
,
competition
alleviates brain performance resulting in an even more courageous and diligent citizen who has the potential to go up the
ladders
Fix the agreement mistake
ladder
show examples
of success swiftly.
Therefore
, once facing a
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
challenge, those who are already competitive will conquer
others
with under-developed
skills
or clumsy personalities.
On the other hand
,
others
argue that cooperation is imperative in order to develop a set of
skills
which are tremendously essential in the workplace. If pupils extensively engaged in cooperative activities based on the courses which were incorporated into the curriculum,
for instance
, they would develop higher standards of
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and leadership
skills
, a recent Harvard study illustrates.
Moreover
, multinationals and global corporations are actively seeking top talents with top-notch aptitudes to hire in top administrative positions.
Thus
, those with greater teamwork and leadership
skills
are destined to have a brighter future in the challenging
twenty-first century
Add a hyphen
twenty-first-century
show examples
job market. In conclusion, some believe that cooperation is the key to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
significant life experiences
while
others
, like me, advocate that
competition
is irreplaceable and arms individuals with aptitudes that are vital for a prosperous profession.
Nevertheless
, humans gain cooperative experiences automatically,
however
, it is the competitive characteristics that require enormous and consistent
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more clearly and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points, while valid, could benefit from further exploration and elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points have clear support throughout the essay. Some arguments felt less substantiated than others.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the positions being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is mostly maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing an opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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