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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Higher education should be available to students according to their ability rather than their family's financial situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that higher
education
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 should be available to
students
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according to
Linking Words
 their ability rather than their family's financial situation.
However
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, I personally agree with
this
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view
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 because it promotes equality of opportunity and allows talented
students
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 to contribute to
society
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.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason why I agree with
this
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view
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 is that it promotes equality of opportunity.
This
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 is mainly because
students
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 from low-income families may be academically capable but unable to afford higher
education
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.
In other words
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, financial circumstances should not prevent talented
students
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 from developing their potential.
For example
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, governments and universities can provide scholarships to academically capable
students
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 from disadvantaged backgrounds.
As a result
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, educational inequality can be reduced
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 more
students
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 can access higher
education
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, university admission should be based primarily on ability rather than wealth.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, another important reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
view
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 is that it allows talented
students
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 to contribute to
society
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.
This
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 is because higher
education
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 helps capable individuals develop professional knowledge and skills.
For instance
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, a talented student from a poor family may become a skilled doctor, engineer or teacher if given access to university
education
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.
Consequently
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,
society
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 can benefit from a larger pool of skilled professionals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
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view
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I firmly agree with the
view
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 that higher
education
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 should be available
according to
Linking Words
students
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' ability rather than their
family's
Fix the agreement mistake
families'
show examples
 financial situation.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because it promotes equality of opportunity and allows talented
students
Use synonyms
 to contribute to
society
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why ability should matter more than family money. You could also note that schools need fair ways to find ability, not only test results.
task response
Your two main ideas are relevant: fair chance and help for society. Add one more clear detail to each idea. For example, say how a scholarship can help a poor student finish school, or how a new doctor can help an area with few doctors.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are general. Use one short, real-like case: a student with high marks who cannot pay fees, then gets support and becomes a nurse or engineer.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. Each body part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used many times, such as "This is because", "For example", "As a result", and "Therefore". Use fewer of them and let the ideas connect in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence of each body part repeats your main view. Instead, use that space to add a final detail or explain the result more clearly.
task response
You answer the full question and clearly show that you agree.
task response
The ideas about fair chance and skilled workers are both closely linked to higher education.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives a clear plan, and the conclusion returns to the same two main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are clear, and the reader can see the main point in each one.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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