IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

When students study a foreign language,,they should also study the culture and lifestyles of the people who speak the language. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often claimed that
language
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learners
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 should
also
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 study the traditions and daily habits of native speakers. I disagree, since most
learners
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 study a
language
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 for a specific purpose
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as work or an examination, and cultural knowledge is not necessary for that goal.
Body paragraph 1
Students preparing for IELTS sometimes spend time learning about British culture rather than focusing on their weak points,
such
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 as essay structure, complex sentences, or the vocabulary
the
Correct pronoun usage
that the
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 examiners actually reward.
As a result
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, they score lower than they need, which can affect their future plans.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, employees who want to learn another
language
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 for work often do not need to learn about lifestyles or culture for a formal email, meeting, or small talk. A formal meeting needs correct grammar, writing, and vocabulary to sound professional. None of that needs cultural knowledge. An employee who writes an email full of errors will look careless to clients, no matter how much they know about local traditions.
Body paragraph 3
Admittedly, learning about culture usually makes
learners
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 avoid awkward moments.
For example
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, in
Japan
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Japan,
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 there are specific customs around giving and receiving gifts, and getting them wrong can cause embarrassment.
However
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, these customs are usually learned through direct contact with native speakers rather than formal lessons, and anyone working in another country will pick them up within weeks of arriving.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 cultural knowledge can occasionally prevent misunderstandings, I do not believe it should be a required part of
language
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 study, since most
learners
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 have specific goals that grammar and vocabulary serve far better.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it stronger, explain more fully why culture is not needed for work in all cases. For example, a meeting may need knowledge of how to greet people, take turns, or say no in a polite way.
task response
Your IELTS example is relevant, but it is quite narrow. Add one more clear case, such as a student learning a language only to read papers or pass a work test.
task response
The point about people learning customs within weeks is not fully proved. Say why this can happen, or accept that some people may still need help before they arrive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, two main reasons, the other side, and a final answer. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer link at the start of the second main paragraph. For example: "This is also true for people who learn a language for work." This will show how the two points are connected.
coherence and cohesion
Some short sentences can be joined to make the flow smoother. For example, join the ideas about grammar, writing, and words in a meeting with the point about looking professional.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated words such as "need" and "culture." You can sometimes use "this knowledge," "local ways," or "such study" instead.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear reason for your view: many learners have a set goal, such as work or a test.
task response
The example of gift giving in Japan shows that you can see the other side of the issue before returning to your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, and the examples stay close to that idea.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph clearly state the same view, so the essay feels complete.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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