IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many cities in the world are facing issues due to traffic congestion. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience, related to your country.

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Introduction
Many cities around the world are experiencing increasingly serious problems
as a result
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 of
traffic
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 congestion.
This
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 essay will explain two major causes of
this
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 issue and suggest several ways in which it can be improved.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause of
traffic
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 congestion is poor road planning. When roads and
intersections
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 are not designed to handle large numbers of
vehicles
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, cars travelling in different directions can interfere with one another, creating long queues.
For example
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, in some busy areas of my country, several streams of
traffic
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 are allowed to enter an intersection at the same time.
As a result
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,
vehicles
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 can block each other and cause
traffic
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 to build up, particularly during rush hour.
Body paragraph 2
Another contributing factor is the ineffective management of
traffic
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 lights. If
traffic
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signals
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 are poorly timed or do not function properly,
vehicles
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 may be forced to stop unnecessarily, even when there is little
traffic
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 coming from other directions. In my country, some
intersections
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 have
traffic
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 lights that are not well
synchronized
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synchronised
show examples
 with nearby
signals
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.
This
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 can cause drivers to stop repeatedly, slowing down the
overall
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 flow of
traffic
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 and creating longer lines of
vehicles
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.
Body paragraph 3
There are several measures that governments can take to address these problems.
First,
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traffic
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 lights and other
traffic
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-control equipment should be regularly inspected and maintained. Properly functioning and
well-synchronized
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well-synchronised
show examples
signals
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 would allow
vehicles
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 to move more efficiently through
intersections
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.
Second,
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governments could redesign particularly problematic roads and
intersections
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.
For instance
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, additional turning lanes or separate
traffic
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signals
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 could be introduced in areas where
vehicles
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 frequently block one another. These changes would help
traffic
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 move more smoothly and reduce delays.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
traffic
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 congestion is mainly caused by poorly planned roads and inefficient
traffic
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 management. Governments can help alleviate
this
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 problem by maintaining
traffic
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-control systems and redesigning
intersections
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 where
necessar
Correct your spelling
necessary

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task response
You answer both parts of the task: why traffic is bad and what can be done. To make the answer stronger, add one more cause, such as more people buying cars or weak public transport.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but the examples from your country are quite general. Name a city, road, or common rush-hour case to make them more real and useful.
task response
The last line is cut off. Make sure the conclusion is complete and clearly ends the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: start, two cause parts, two fix parts, and an end. Keep this strong order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links to show cause and result, such as “because of this”, “therefore”, and “this means that”. This will make the flow even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are well explained. You could link each fix more directly to its cause: better light timing fixes long waits, while road changes fix cars blocking each other.
task response
You give clear causes and useful fixes, and each main idea has an explanation.
task response
The road and traffic-light examples fit the topic well and help the reader understand your points.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “First”, and “Second” guide the reader well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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