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Writing Samples
Band 6

Should parents give children money for doing household work?

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
Some people believe that parents should give their
children
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money
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 for doing
household
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 chores,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
children
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 should help at home without receiving payment. In my opinion, giving
children
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 a small amount of
money
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 for some tasks can be useful, but they should
also
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 learn that helping their family is a responsibility.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, paying
children
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 for
household
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 work can teach them important financial skills.
For example
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, parents can give their
children
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 a small amount of pocket
money
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 for completing tasks
such
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 as cleaning their rooms, washing dishes or taking out the rubbish.
Children
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 can
then
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 learn how to save and spend
money
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 responsibly.
This
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 may
also
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 encourage them to work harder and become more independent.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
children
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 should not expect to receive
money
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 every time they help their family.
Household
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 chores are a normal part of family life, and all family members should contribute. If
children
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 are always paid for their work, they may develop the idea that they should only help others when they receive something in return.
For example
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, a child might refuse to help an elderly family member because there is no financial reward.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that parents can give
children
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money
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 for additional or more difficult
household
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 tasks, but basic responsibilities should be completed without payment.
This
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 approach can help
children
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 understand both the value of
money
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 and the importance of responsibility.

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Task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, say more about which jobs are basic family duties and which extra jobs may be paid.
Task response
Your ideas are well explained, but one more real home example could add depth. For example, you could say that a child may be paid for washing the car, but not for making their bed.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: one side, the other side, then your own view. Keep using this simple plan in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are clear and natural. You could use fewer repeated words such as “children” and “household work” by using “they”, “these jobs”, or “such work” where clear.
Coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point and a useful example. For an even smoother flow, add a short link at the start of the last body paragraph, such as “However, family help should not become paid work.”
Task response
You answer both views and give a clear, balanced opinion. Your final view is practical: pay for extra or hard jobs, but not for basic family duties.
Task response
The examples are relevant and easy to understand, such as cleaning a room, washing dishes, and helping an older family member.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly shows the main issue and your view. The ending brings the key ideas together well.
Coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs are easy to follow, with clear topic sentences and good links such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “For example”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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