IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, young people communicate with friends and family through mostly social network sites, rather than other ways of communication like talking on the phone or face to face. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give some reason for your answer.

In recent years, social networking sites have become the primary means of
communication
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 among young
people
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, largely replacing traditional methods
such
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 as phone calls and face-to-face interaction.
While
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this
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 shift has transformed the way
relationships
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 are maintained, I believe it is largely a positive development, provided it is used responsibly. One major advantage of online
communication
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 is its convenience and accessibility. Social media platforms allow young
people
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 to stay in constant contact with friends and family regardless of distance or time zones.
This
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 is particularly beneficial for students studying abroad or individuals with busy schedules, as messages can be sent instantly without the need for lengthy conversations.
As a result
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,
relationships
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 that might
otherwise
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 weaken over time can be maintained more easily. Another positive aspect is that social networking sites encourage broader social connections. Young
people
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 are no longer limited to communicating only with
people
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 in their immediate surroundings. They can interact with individuals from different cultures, share ideas, and participate in global discussions.
This
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 exposure can improve cultural awareness, confidence in
communication
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, and even language skills, which are increasingly valuable in today’s interconnected world.
However
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, critics argue that excessive reliance on online
communication
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 may reduce face-to-face social skills and emotional depth in
relationships
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.
While
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this
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 concern is valid, it is not an inevitable outcome. Social media does not prevent real-life interaction; rather, it complements it. When used in moderation, online
communication
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 can strengthen offline
relationships
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 by making regular contact easier and more frequent. In conclusion,
although
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 social networking sites have changed traditional
communication
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 patterns, I consider
this
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 trend to be a positive development. The benefits of convenience, global connectivity, and relationship maintenance outweigh the drawbacks, as long as young
people
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 balance online interaction with meaningful face-to-face
communication
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.

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coherence
Show more direct links between ideas with simple joins like first, then, also, but. This makes flow easy to follow.
task response
Add one more strong example that clearly backs a main idea.
language
Some long lines can be cut into two shorter sentences to be easy to read.
task response
Keep a fair view by naming some of the bad side more, then show how you use the good side.
stance
Clear view that the shift is mostly good.
content
Good ideas: ease of use, reach to more people, and kept links with friends and family.
organization
Solid structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Reasoning is clear and counter points are noted.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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