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Writing Samples
Band 5

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

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Introduction
In today's time, discussing personal finances
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 their income or
expenses
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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regular life has become increasingly common in everyday conversations in many nations.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly
due to
Linking Words
 inflation
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
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people
Change preposition
with people
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 wanting to be aware
with
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of
show examples
 finances and needing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical
advise
Replace the word
advice
. In fact, I believe it is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for two main
reasons
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.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main
reasons
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 is
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 cost of living and financial pressure. The prices of rent, housing and basic necessities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 increasing drastically, which makes
individuals
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 discuss it in order to understand how others make financial decisions. It has been observed that students living abroad usually compare prices of
grocery
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groceries
show examples
 or
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
expenses
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 with their
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 to find different ways to save
money
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. Another
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 is the desire to improve their financial awareness and management skills. There are some
individuals
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 who struggle with
money
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 management
often
Correct pronoun usage
, which often
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led
Wrong verb form
leads
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 them to have a discussion with their family or friends.
This
Linking Words
 discussion helps them to understand budgeting and saving
money
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 sensibly.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, it has several benefits and one of them is
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
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 of financial
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
. When
individuals
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 share their income or daily
expenses
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to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their family or friends lead them to
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 more responsible choices that can reduce their stress of
money
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 management.
For example
Linking Words
, when students live away from their family often share their
expenses
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 with parents in order to learn skills in managing
money
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along with
Linking Words
 getting
emotinal
Correct your spelling
emotional
 support.
In addition
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, it would promote financial literacy. When
people
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 openly share financial information,
such
Linking Words
 as salaries,
expenses
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, savings and investments, others can gain profound
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about managing
money
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 effectively.
This
Linking Words
 can encourage
individuals
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 to develop better financial planning skills and make more informed decisions about their spending habits.
Conclusion
In conclusion, not only is the financial pressure
but
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, but
show examples
also
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 inflation
are
Verb problem
,
show examples
 the
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reasons
Check wording
reason
show examples
 why
people
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 discuss their finances openly. The benefits
this
Linking Words
 provides are managing stress and promoting financial education.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should discuss
this
Linking Words
 more openly among themselves.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people talk about money and why it can be good, but you should also say clearly why it may be bad. For example, such talks can cause shame, jealousy, or family problems when people compare pay.
task response
Make your main view clearer from the start. Say that open talks about money are mostly good, but only when people feel safe and do not feel pushed to share private facts.
task response
Develop each reason with one clear chain: reason, result, and example. For instance, high prices make people compare food and rent costs; this helps them find ways to spend less.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, especially the examples about students. Make them more exact and avoid broad claims such as “it has been observed.” Say who does what and how it helps.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, reasons, benefits, and ending. Keep this plan, but give one body paragraph to reasons and one to advantages and disadvantages, so the answer matches the question more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Instead of “Furthermore, it has several benefits,” write “This trend can be helpful in two ways.” This makes the reader know what “it” means.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because there are too many ideas or the form is not clear. Break them into shorter sentences. For example: “People who find money hard to manage may talk to family or friends. They can then learn how to plan and save.”
coherence and cohesion
Check key word forms and agreement, as these can make links less clear: “prices ... are increasing,” “another reason,” “monthly,” “friends,” “financial stress,” and “emotional support.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point about money skills in several places. Give each paragraph one main job: first, why the trend happens; next, its good and bad effects.
task response
You address the main topic and give a clear positive view. Your points about high living costs, saving, and money skills are relevant.
task response
The student examples are useful because they show how people may compare costs and ask parents for help.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow overall. Each paragraph has a main focus, and the ending returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words such as “One of the main reasons,” “Furthermore,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic climate
  • social media platforms
  • transparency
  • cultural shifts
  • financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • comparison
  • competition
  • consumerism
  • trust
  • financial matters
  • earnings
  • expenditures
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