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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is a fact that there are a lot of languages in this world, but every year several of the languages just disappear. A group of people believe that the extinction of some languages is not a crucial problem since communication will be more effective with fewer languages.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
Language
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 plays an essential role in our lives because it allows
people
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 to communicate and preserve their culture and identity.
Although
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 some
people
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 argue that the disappearance of
languages
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 is not a serious problem because fewer
languages
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 could make
communication
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 easier, I largely disagree with
this
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 view. I believe that linguistic diversity should be
protected
Punctuation problem
protected,
show examples
while
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people
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 can
also
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 learn a common
language
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 for international
communication
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, the loss of a
language
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 can result in the loss of valuable cultural knowledge. Traditional stories, local knowledge and family history are often passed from one generation to another through
language
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. If younger
people
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 stop using their home
language
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, they may gradually lose their connection with older family members and their cultural background.
For example
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, when a small community moves to a large city, young
people
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 may use the dominant
language
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 at school and work and eventually stop speaking their home
language
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 with their families.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, a
language
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 naturally changes over time, but
this
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 is different from its complete disappearance. New words and expressions may replace older ones, allowing
communication
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 to develop
while
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 the
language
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 remains alive.
Therefore
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,
language
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 development should not be confused with
language
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 extinction.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, I acknowledge that learning a common international
language
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 can make
communication
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 more effective. English,
for instance
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, is widely used in business, education and travel.
People
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 can use it to communicate internationally
while
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 continuing to speak their own
language
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 at home.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I largely disagree that the disappearance of
languages
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 is an insignificant issue.
Although
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 a common
language
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 can reduce
communication
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 barriers, preserving different
languages
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 is essential for protecting cultural knowledge and family connections. The best approach is
therefore
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 to learn a common international
language
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 without abandoning native
languages
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.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same: you do not agree that losing languages is not a big problem. To make the answer even stronger, give one more clear reason why a language matters, such as how it holds local ways of life or old skills.
task response
Your example of young people moving to a city is relevant and easy to understand. Make it more specific by showing one result, for example, that children can no longer understand stories told by their grandparents.
task response
You deal well with the other side by saying that one world language can help with work, study, and travel. You could add a short line to explain why this help does not mean that home languages must die.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, reasons, the other side, and a final answer. Each paragraph has one main point, which makes the writing easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are good. You use words such as “Firstly”, “Furthermore”, “However”, and “In conclusion” well. Try not to use too many set linking words; sometimes connect ideas with a short sentence that shows the link more directly.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph about language change is clear, but it is a little less closely linked to the main question. Connect it more clearly to your view by saying that change can happen without the full loss of a language, so loss is still a real problem.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear, balanced view. The point about using a shared language while keeping home languages is sensible and well stated.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and supported: languages keep culture, family links, and local knowledge alive.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and your ending returns to it with a practical answer.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move in a natural way, and the example fits the point about young people losing contact with their family and past.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • language extinction
  • endangered languages
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural identity
  • mother tongue
  • minority communities
  • global language
  • international communication
  • shared means of communication
  • traditional knowledge
  • oral history
  • cultural heritage
  • pass down traditions
  • preserve a language
  • bilingual education
  • local dialects
  • weaken community ties
  • a practical advantage
  • lose valuable knowledge
  • protect linguistic heritage
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