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Band 7

The graph below shows the number of immigrants to three countries from 1990 to 2001.

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The graph below shows the number of immigrants to three countries from 1990 to 2001.
The line graph illustrates the number of foreign arrivals to the three different countries from 1990 to 2001.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 the number of immigrants to Canada and Australia experienced with slightly increase during the year,
while
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 the
figure
Use synonyms
 in the USA decreased dramatically with a big fluctuation
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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,
this
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figure
Use synonyms
 showed the largest amount among the three countries. Looking first at immigrant numbers in Canada started with 200000 in 1990 and
then
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 increased slightly to about 300000 in 1993. But
this
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figure
Use synonyms
 did not stay longer in
this
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 position continue with minor fluctuation until reaching 500000 in 2001. Turning to the number of Australian immigrants, there was a gradual rise.
This
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figure
Use synonyms
 started with around 170000 in 1990 and experienced growth with
marginal
Correct article usage
a marginal
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 increase until the reach just under 200 000 in 2001. Moving on to the
figure
Use synonyms
 in the USA,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sharp decline was observed. The starting point of immigrant numbers was 1450000 in 1990 , and it declined sharply to 100000 in 1992 after reaching the highest statistic
was
Change preposition
of
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 1800000 in 1991. It
then
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 fell dramatically with considerable fluctuation until the 900000 in 2001.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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