IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and tram. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the issue
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
 and
motorways
Use synonyms
 or on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 system has sparked heated discussion. Some people believe that building
roads
Use synonyms
 and
motorways
Use synonyms
 is more pivotal. Yet others claim that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 system
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benifit on all citizens. I believe public
transport
Use synonyms
 should
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 more funding.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
roads
Use synonyms
 and
motorways
Use synonyms
 are
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
. Many people drive cars to
works
Replace the word
work
,travel, schools. Good
roads
Use synonyms
 make driving easier and faster.
Also
Linking Words
 ,establishing
motorways
Use synonyms
 is a good way to develop tourist trade, which helps the economy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems necessary to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
 and
motorways
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, spending too much
money
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
creares
Correct your spelling
creates
 problems. Building
roads
Use synonyms
 is only suitable for those who own cars. It cannot ensure that everyone receives proper attention.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
eatablishment
Correct your spelling
establishment
 of numerous
roads
Use synonyms
 may cause noise pollution and affect the daily lives of residents.
Body paragraph 3
Linking Words
Whereas public
Correct word choice
Public
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 is better for the environment. Cars produce a
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
show examples
 of pollution, which harms the air. If more people choose buses, subways and trains, air pollution will decrease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
 of public
transport
Use synonyms
 helps
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 traffic congestion. The investment
also
Linking Words
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 social equity, as it provides affordable mobility for
low income
Correct your spelling
low-income
 individuals, the elderly and students who may not have access to a car.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 maintaining road infrastructure is necessary for logistics and certain commuters, I firmly believe that governments should
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 funding public
transport
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 approach will create equitable and liveable cities for the future.

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task response
Your view is clear: public transport should get more money. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why this should be a main plan, not only a better choice. Add one real or clear example, such as a busy city where more trains can help workers get to work on time.
task response
You cover both sides of the question well. However, some ideas need more detail. For example, explain how new roads can help travel and trade, and explain why this help may be less important than clean and low-cost public transport.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first roads, then the problems with roads, then public transport, and then a short end. This is easy to follow. You can link the second and third body parts more smoothly by showing that the limits of roads are the reasons to spend more on buses and trains.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'Whereas' does not fit well at the start of the third body part. Try 'In contrast' or 'On the other hand'. Also, do not use too many links such as 'Moreover' in a short space; make the link between ideas clear through your explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each main idea in one paragraph. The paragraph about public transport has three good points: air, traffic, and fair access. Give each point a little more support, or focus on two points and explain them in more depth.
task response
You answer the whole question and state your own view clearly in the opening and at the end.
task response
Your points about clean air, less traffic, and help for people without cars are on topic and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are easy to see, and the conclusion matches your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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