The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

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The graph below delineates the figures for international visitors to three
various
Correct word choice
apply
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areas in a European country over a twenty- year period
Overall
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, it is clearly seen that the coast was the most popular place among the tourists,
while
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the
lakes
Use synonyms
were the least
prerfered throught
Correct your spelling
preferred throughout
the period.
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Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
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the
lakes
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
had
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the lowest proportion rate,
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however
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apply
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the opposite was true for the mountains
at the end
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. Looking at the numbers for the coast, in 1987 the rate accounted for 40,000 and declining approximately to 31,000 in 1992, before reaching
it
Correct determiner usage
its
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peak
to
Change preposition
of
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70,000 by 2007.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
this
Linking Words
trend was
also
Linking Words
reflected in the
lakes
Use synonyms
, which stood at 10,000 in 1987, and registered a marginal increase to 30,000 in 1992.
Moreover
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, the statistics for the
lakes
Use synonyms
recorded a significant
grow
Replace the word
growth
up to 75,000 in 2002, only to fall back approximately to 52,000 by the end. Turning to the figures for the mountains, the share rate
was
Verb problem
apply
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stood at 19,000 in 1987 and remained more or less the same by 1992, and
then
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witnessed a marginal increase to 28,000 in 1992.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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the statistics registered a slight drop to 21,000 in 2002 before reaching 30,000 in
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
with
overall
Linking Words
fluctuating over a given period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words lakes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "marginal" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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