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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

5.5 / 9
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Introduction
There is an increasing trend around the world of married
couples
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 deciding not to have
children
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.
This
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 trend has both advantages and
disadvantages
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both of them.
Body paragraph 1
One of the most important advantages is that
couples
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 can have more free
time
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. When people have
children
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, they need to spend a lot of
time
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 taking care of them.
For example
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, parents need to prepare food, take
children
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 to school and help them with their
study
Check wording
studies
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.
Therefore
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,
couples
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 without
children
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 can spend more
time
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 together and enjoy their life.
In addition
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, having
children
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cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 a lot of money. Parents need to pay for food, clothes, school and many other things. So,
couples
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 who do not have
children
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 can save more money and travel more.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 has some
disadvantages
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. One of the most important
disadvantages
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 is that
couples
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 may feel lonely when they become old.
For example
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, when they are 60 or 70 years old, they may not have
children
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 to visit them or help them.
In addition
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, some
couples
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 may regret their decision in the future. When they see other families spending
time
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 with their
children
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, they may feel sad.
Also
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, if one person in the couple dies, the other person may feel
more lonely
Replace the word
lonelier
 because there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no
children
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 in the family.
Conclusion
In conclusion, deciding not to have
children
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 has advantages
such
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 as saving money and having more free
time
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.
However
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, it
also
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 has
disadvantages
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 because
couples
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 may feel lonely in the future and regret their decision.

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task response
You answer both parts of the task. To make your ideas stronger, explain each main point in more detail. For example, say how more money can help a couple plan their future, not only travel more.
task response
Your examples are clear but quite general. Add one more real-life example for each side. For instance, couples may use extra time to build a career, while old people may need help with daily life.
task response
Be careful not to show all couples without children as lonely or sad. Use words such as “may” and “some” to show that this is not true for everyone.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, good points, bad points, and ending. Keep this shape, but link ideas inside each paragraph more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used well, such as “For example”, “Therefore”, and “On the other hand”. Try not to repeat “In addition” too often. You can also use “As a result”, “Another point”, or “This means that”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order of ideas more natural. In the first main paragraph, put free time and money in two clear parts, then give an example after each part.
coherence and cohesion
Use correct noun forms to make links clear. Write “having children costs a lot of money” and “there are no children in the family”.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of the choice, and your main ideas stay on the topic.
task response
The points about free time, money, old age, and regret are easy to understand and fit the question well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by reasons and an example.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly sums up the main good and bad points without adding a new idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
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