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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

English has become a need of the day and the local language are getting sidelined Give opinion and discuss your view.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
English
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 has become an essential
language
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 in many parts of the world,
while
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 local
languages
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 are increasingly being neglected.
Although
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 the growing importance of
English
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 provides several benefits, I believe that local
languages
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 should
also
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 be preserved because they are an important part of a country's culture and identity.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons why
English
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 has become a necessity in modern society.
First,
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it is widely used in
education
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, business, technology and international communication.
For example
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, many higher
education
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 courses and professional training programs are offered in
English
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, which encourages students to learn it in order to improve their career opportunities.
Moreover
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,
people
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 who can communicate confidently in
English
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 can interact with individuals from different countries and may have better opportunities to work or study abroad.
As a result
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, many young
people
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 consider
English
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 more useful for their future than their local
language
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, the increasing use of
English
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 can have negative effects on local
languages
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. Younger generations may gradually stop using their native
language
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, particularly if they associate
English
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 with
education
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, employment and social status.
Consequently
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, traditional expressions, stories and cultural knowledge may be lost over time.
This
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 can weaken
people
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's connection with their heritage.
For instance
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, if children rarely speak their local
language
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 at home, they may eventually struggle to understand traditional literature or communicate with older members of their community.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, learning
English
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 is undoubtedly beneficial, but it should not come at the expense of local
languages
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. Governments and educational institutions should encourage bilingual or multilingual
education
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,
while
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 families should motivate children to speak their native
language
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 at home. In
this
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 way,
people
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 can gain the advantages of
English
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while
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 continuing to protect their linguistic and cultural heritage.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
English
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 is increasingly necessary because of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
,
education
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 and employment opportunities.
Nevertheless
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, local
languages
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 should not be sidelined, and maintaining a balance between international and native
languages
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 is the most practical approach.

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task response
Your view is clear: English is useful, but local languages must stay. To make it even stronger, add one more clear reason why local languages matter, such as family ties or local history.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas. You could make one example more real and full by naming a place, a school, or a kind of job.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, your view, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are good. Try not to use the same link words too often, such as 'For example', 'Moreover', and 'As a result'. Use some other simple links, such as 'Also', 'In this case', or 'Because of this'.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main point. In the second main part, add a short first line that says local languages are at risk, then give the reasons and the example.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
Your ideas about work, study, culture, and family are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a strong order: why English is needed, the risk to local languages, your view, and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words to show cause, contrast, and result, so the reader can follow your ideas with ease.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • international language
  • career opportunities
  • higher education
  • access to information
  • local language
  • mother tongue
  • cultural identity
  • national heritage
  • traditional knowledge
  • language preservation
  • bilingual education
  • use both languages
  • protect minority languages
  • public awareness
  • school curriculum
  • local media
  • pass a language on to children
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