IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Most people maintain that the construction of high-rise buildings is the most feasible solution to combat housing shortages in large cities. I totally agree with the statement because it can minimise land usage and provide an easy-to-access location for urban residents.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main advantages of vertical urbanisation is that it needs a lot less land to mount tall buildings.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can provide enough accommodation for the increasing urban population , but
also
Linking Words
 affordable housing to large populations. Provided that only urban sprawling is possible, property pricing in the city would skyrocket. To illustrate it, a survey conducted by the Thai government in 2025 shows that a majority of the urban population chose to live in apartments
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that a large investment was not necessary in accommodation.
Body paragraph 2
Another merit is that it can save commuting time for the urban population. The main reason why most people opt for living in cities is that they can provide all amenities without having to travel long distances. As basic infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, schools, and universities are within reachable distance, it can ease the strain on them regarding transportation. To illustrate it, a survey conducted by a real estate agent in Yangon shows that most apartment hunters prefer an easy-to-access location where not only commercial spaces
such
Linking Words
 as malls and shopping centres but
also
Linking Words
 recreational and sports centres , including a public swimming pool and a gym, are available.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, I completely concur with the view that constructing tall apartments is the most effective strategy to tackle the issue of not enough accommodation in urban areas because it does not need much space , and it can
also
Linking Words
 provide convenience for residents.

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task response
Your view is clear: you fully agree. Keep this clear view in the whole essay. However, explain more directly why tall blocks are the best way, not only a good way. You could compare them with building homes out of the city.
task response
Your first main point is useful, but make the link clearer: tall blocks put many homes on a small piece of land, so they can help meet a large need for homes.
task response
The second main point needs a closer link to the question. Easy travel and nearby shops are benefits of city living, but they do not by themselves show that tall blocks provide enough homes. Say how homes near jobs and services allow more people to live in the city.
task response
The two survey examples are relevant, but they are quite general. Use one short, clear example and explain what it proves. Do not rely on a survey as the main support for your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. For example: “Tall apartment blocks use land more efficiently.” Then explain this idea before giving an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not fully clear. In the first body paragraph, “Provided that only urban sprawling is possible” is hard to understand. Use a simpler link, such as: “If cities spread out instead, they need far more land.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “To illustrate it” in both body paragraphs. You can use “For example” once, or simply give the example after the explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. In the second paragraph, focus first on how central apartment blocks cut travel time, then give nearby hospitals, schools, and shops as support.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
Your ideas about saving land and cutting travel time are relevant to life in large cities.
coherence and cohesion
The four-paragraph form is clear, and the conclusion returns to your two main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words such as “As a result”, “Another merit”, and “To conclude” to guide the reader.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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