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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?

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Introduction
In recent decades, the public and authorities have expressed concern about the ecological
environment
Use synonyms
;
consequently
Linking Words
, green
energy
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 has become a widely discussed topic. Using renewable
energy
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 tends to be a growing trend, inasmuch as the shortage of fossil fuels is a looming issue, and it is a cheaper way to generate electricity. I firmly believe that the increasing use of renewable
energy
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 sources is a positive development owing to its beneficial effects on the
environment
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.
Body paragraph 1
One of the principal reasons for widely implementing the renewable
energy
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 stations is that fossil fuel is the finite resources. Unlike coal, oil, and gas, natural sources will never run out, and humanities are guaranteed to avoid
energy
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 scarcity. Another justification for introducing is that solar panels and wind turbines require less expense for maintaining and producing
energy
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 than oil rigs and pipelines. To illustrate, wind and sun are free, and just construction and refurbishment require the investments.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, supporting green
energy
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 sources mitigates pollution issues. Transferring to
such
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 power reduces the carbon footprint and helps preserve natural ecosystems for future generations. Meanwhile, it reduces the negative impact of climate change.
As a result
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, residents’ health tends to be improved by lowering air pollution-related diseases.
For example
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, green stations are widely used in some regions in the USA,
while
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 urban communities are highlighting the improvement of the air quality there, and doctors are arguing that the problems with breathing
caused
Verb problem
have caused
show examples
 a decline.
Hence
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,
this
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 example proves the view about the positive effect renewable
energy
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 has on both the
environment
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 and the public.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
this
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 trend towards renewable
energy
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 is a predominantly positive development for the
environment
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. It addresses the depletion of fossil fuels, reduces pollution and carbon emissions, and improves public health.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments and individuals should continue investing in green technologies to ensure a sustainable future.

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Task response
Answer both parts of the question clearly. You explain why green energy is used more, and you say it is good for the environment. To make this stronger, explain more fully why it is now cheaper. For example, say that after the first cost, sun and wind power need very little fuel cost.
Task response
Keep the main focus on the environment. The point about health is useful, but link it more directly to the environment: less coal and oil burning means cleaner air, which is better for both nature and people.
Task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to support. The example about some parts of the USA is too general, and the claim about doctors is not fully clear. A simple general example about solar power replacing coal power would work better.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: an opening, reasons, effects, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas need to be smoother. For example, change “Another justification for introducing is that” to “Another reason is that”. This makes the sentence clear and natural.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Split them into two short sentences, especially in the USA example. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for the main idea where possible. You use “green energy”, “renewable energy”, “natural sources”, and “green stations”. “Renewable energy” or “renewable power” is clearer than “green stations”.
Task response
You give a clear view that the move to renewable energy is good for the environment, and you keep this view from the opening to the ending.
Task response
You include useful reasons for the change, such as the limited amount of coal, oil, and gas, and lower running costs for sun and wind power.
Coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are clear and directly connected to the question.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “As a result”, “For example”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • depletion
  • carbon emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • solar energy
  • wind power
  • hydroelectric power
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
  • energy security
  • renewable energy sources
  • environmental impact
  • finite resources
  • investment
  • efficient
  • cost-effective
  • adoption
  • political stability
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