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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below provide information on popular modes of transport in the city of Cambridge for the years 2008 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below provide information on popular modes of transport in the city of Cambridge for the years 2008 and 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of the 4 ways of mobility in Cambridge for the following years, 2008 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 the most popular ways of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 were Vehicles and Busses,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
 the
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
transportations were almost had
Correct word order
transportation had almost
show examples
 similar shares. In 2008, The Cars and Busses were the most famous ways of
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
,
recorded a
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
 shares of 42% and 30%, respectively, followed by
the Bicycles
Correct determiner usage
bicycles
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 recorded the third
popluar
Correct your spelling
most popular
 way of
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
 by 17%,
finally
Linking Words
 Walking had the least
common
Rephrase
commonly
show examples
 used way by 11% only. Bicycles accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 most
common
Rephrase
commonly
show examples
 used mobility in 2018
by
Change preposition
, with a
show examples
 share of 30%, followed by the 2 similar shares which are for Walking and Busses ahieving 25%. The Cars compared with 2008 had decreased by almost double
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
recorded
Verb problem
was recorded
show examples
 by 20%. In
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
 the approaches
share
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 almost identical , there is a normal distribution of
method
Check wording
methods
show examples
 of
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
, unlike in 2008 ,
rates
Correct word choice
when rates
show examples
are differently distributed
Correct word order
were distributed differently
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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