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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbour and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around?

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Introduction
Men and
women
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 are very different both physically
,
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apply
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 and mentally, and are endowed with qualities that allow them to perform better or worse in different areas.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays there is a greater willingness among
women
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 to take on tasks traditionally performed by men.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the reasons that drove
this
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 change.
Body paragraph 1
The first and most important reason is the socio-cultural shift that many countries have adopted in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of
women
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's rights and recognition. Today,
women
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 can pursue professional aspirations without the stigma of the past that limited their roles to domestic tasks,
such
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 as being a homemaker and a wife. The opportunity to get an education
also
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 has a significant impact on the inclusion of
women
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 in jobs traditionally led by men, since
currently
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currently,
show examples
 there are no gender barriers to access higher education. A woman today, with a strong academic background, can hold high managerial, operational, and even government positions.
Body paragraph 2
Another good reason
,
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apply
show examples
 has to do with a cultural reorganisation of personal and work life. Currently, market demands
favor
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favour
show examples
 adaptability and options for both genders to perform any role position, considering the salary and times of a couple, prioritising the growth and development of the family over gender stereotypes.
In other words
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, modern life fosters greater flexibility and openness to roles that were formerly linked to a single gender.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, the transversal access to higher education,
together with
Linking Words
 a paradigm shift of
women
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’s role, has made
women
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 integrate into sectors of work unthinkable for them in the past, understanding that
although
Linking Words
 there are biological differences that outweigh certain skills, everything can be
entrable
Correct your spelling
learnable
 and teachable.

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task response
The main problem is that the essay answers a different question. The topic asks why people do not know their neighbours and how to build community again. Your essay is about women doing jobs once done by men. Read the question again and make sure every main point answers it.
task response
For the causes, explain ideas such as long work hours, moving house often, online life, and less shared public space. Say clearly how each cause makes neighbours less likely to meet.
task response
For the measures, give clear steps. For example, city groups can hold street events, local schools can plan family days, and building owners can make shared spaces. Explain how each step helps people meet and trust each other.
task response
Use real, simple examples. For instance, a monthly street meal can help new people learn names, talk, and offer help when someone has a need.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. However, this good shape cannot fully help because the ideas are not linked to the given topic.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each body paragraph. Start with a direct main sentence, explain it, then give an example and its result.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow because they are very long. Split long lines into two or three short sentences. This will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the path of your ideas: First, Another cause, As a result, For example, To deal with this, and In conclusion.
task response
You give two main reasons and try to explain each one.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as However, Another, In other words, and To conclude help show links between parts of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • community
  • neighbor
  • connect
  • urbanization
  • isolation
  • technology
  • diversity
  • relationships
  • belonging
  • lifestyle
  • busy
  • social activities
  • communication
  • engagement
  • shared values
  • personal lives
  • cultural
  • sense of belonging
  • shift
  • move
What to do next:
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