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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to both boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe that it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
People have different opinions regarding what should be included in the school curriculum. Some support the addition of cooking
classes
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 ,
while
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 others believe it is unnecessary. I believe that cooking can be added in curriculum , but more importance should be given to core
subjects
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
schools
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 should offer cooking
classes
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 is to add variety to
students
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' daily learning experience. Many
schools
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 have started to teach lessons on different ingredients, receipes and the usage of various kitchen utensils. These
classes
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 allow
students
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 to learn the importance of food and exposure to diverse cuisines,
also
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 offering them an opportunity to learn something different from their regular curriculum. When
children
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 explore unique techniques and experiments in their school environment, they can improve their
overall
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 performance effectively.
Body paragraph 2
Others who disagree about cooking lessons place more emphasis on general academic
subjects
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. Since most high-wage jobs are available in science, maths and business
classes
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, they can greatly contribute to
students
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' careers in their future. Cooking
classes
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 may distract
students
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 from their career paths and take valuable time from academic studies.
Children
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 can learn basic cooking in their homes with their parents.
Therefore
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,
schools
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 should focus more on core
subjects
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 that are directly related to employment opportunities.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion,
schools
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 should adopt a balanced approach.
This
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 is because
children
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 become bored when they learn similar topics repeatedly. If different
subjects
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 are included in the academic syllabus,
students
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 can maintain their interest in the main
subjects
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while
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 learning different skills.
This
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 strategy will help
children
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 enjoy learning and develop new abilities.
Conclusion
In conclusion, educating
students
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 about diverse skills can make them capable of dealing with various challenges in daily life.
Although
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 some believe that cooking is necessary to make
children
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 independent, the importance of other
subjects
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 is
also
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 vital.
Therefore
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, I believe that
students
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 should be provided with the opportunity to develop both academic knowledge and practical skills.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain more fully why cooking is an essential life skill. For example, say that it can help children make healthy food, save money, and live on their own.
task response
Some points need more support. The idea that cooking lessons can improve overall school performance is not fully explained. Show the link, or use a more direct point, such as better health, safety, or daily independence.
task response
Use more exact examples. Instead of saying that many schools teach cooking, give one clear example of a lesson, such as how to plan a cheap healthy meal or use a knife safely.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, your view, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between sentences smoother. In the first main paragraph, the sentence about diverse food and the next sentence about school performance do not connect well. Add a clear reason between them.
coherence and cohesion
Your own-view paragraph repeats the idea of having different subjects, but it does not clearly say how much school time cooking should have. State your plan more directly, such as one short lesson each week or one course each term.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'therefore', 'however', and 'for example' can help, but make sure each one shows the real link between the ideas.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain why some people support cooking lessons, why others do not, and what you think.
task response
Your main view is clear: cooking can be taught at school, but core school subjects should still have more time.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your writing easily.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion both clearly present the topic and your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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